im just finally getting through my addiction of 20 years, im 38. im not trying to offend anyone, Ive tried n/a and it does help with the coping but i just cant get up and get going…i know time and abstinence will eventually heal…but in the mean time??
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I’m 17 and feeling pretty low right about now. Actually I’ve been in a bout of depression for the past 7-8 months and I’m sort of lost. I’ve realized I’m pretty young and I’ve got quite a ways to go in life, and for that I’m extremely grateful. I know in the back of my mind that I still have a chance at a decent happy life, but I can’t bring myself to actually making things happen. I don’t want to live this way anymore, but I can’t seem to stop. If you’ve had experience with addiction and living a shitty life please drop some knowledge and lend me a hand. I need someone who really knows what they’re talking about, someone who has taken that first step out and has been where I am.
I’m a sleeping pill junkie, and that’s one of my biggest problems. I think my mom gave them to me when I was 12 to help me sleep and I’ve been addicted ever since. It’s gotten to the point where I could take 12 maximum strength pills a night and not even fall asleep. I’ll just stay up and listen to music while I enjoy the high. I’ve quit before, but I just end up relapsing. I know I’m capable of quiting again, it’s just so hard. Especially because I want this time to be my last.
I use to smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day from 15-17 (I’m about to be 18). I’ve quit and haven’t smoked in about 9 months.
Another addiction I have, which might not sound like one, is being a recluse. I was locked up when I was 14 for practically dropping out of school and I lost a lot of friends. I ended up switching to a charter school wich is 2 days a week for a short time and I ended up staying at home with no where to go. I eventually started skipping school because I got pale and I didn’t want people to look at me weird. Now it’s to the point where I haven’t really left my room for about 6th months.
I’m really living on the shit side of life right now and want out. I know I’m never going to be 100% like everyone else, but I want somewhat of a normal life or to be able to say I lived life to the fullest. There’s days where I’m ready to go out and do something about it, but end up getting discouraged because I don’t really know what to do and I slip back into this reclusive state with sleeping pills.
I want to say that it’s not that bad, but of course I’m going to say that because it’s an addiction…
I want to be able to put my life behind me once and for all. If there’s anyone who can help me or give advice, please do so.
I’m about to be out of school by the way.. Going for my GED because of my life style right now pretty much.. I just don’t know where I’m going after. I’ve put some thought into the military, but the more I think about it I don’t know if it’s such a good idea. I was kind of using it as an escape or a place I could turn too, but I know they would tear me up in there. I have major self-esteem issues.
I don’t know..
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Every few months I go on a bender and so a bunch of pills and drink a bunch of booze in hopes of an overdose — of at least drawing attn to myself enough to get help.
I wouldn’t consider myself an alcoholic… or at least at this point… but I know that I have a problem with prescription pills and depression…
I don’t want to be a burden to my family if I go to rehab or whatnot, but I do think I need help or I know I will go too far… in fact, as I’m writing this… well I don’t need to finish that.
I don’t really know what I’m asking…
I get sad all the time, I have extreme bouts of anxiety, I take xanax and hydrocodone like they’re going out ot style, I love to drink when I take them to highten my high…
I want to die… but then again, I don’t…
What should I do?
Please think about this from your perspective… I have a very reputable life and I don’t want to fuck it all up. (see profile…)
your help is appreciated.
xoxox
…No I have not been helped for this before… or at least not since I was 13. That was the last time I was on anti-depressants.
Yes, you’re right… I’m self-medicating… :S
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I did not post the details of my situation when I initially asked if I could give my baby up for adoption because I knew the hate that was likely to come in my direction.
However, since I have asked additionally, for clarification on why so many in this section seem to be anti adoption & many of you read my first question… you are assuming the reason I want to give my child up is financial, or lack of support, or even young age, unmarried…These are the most common reasons, but they are not my reasons. Let me tell you what happened briefly (as is possible) & please then only answer if you have something worthwhile to contribute that is not hateful & judgemental. I am already HUGELY aware that what has occured is “wrong” in the eyes of many. I am trying to find the most responsible solution.
I am married. I have 4 children (all with the same father, my husband). They range in age from 13 to 4. I have a great job. Lots of money. But I am gone A LOT. My husband stays home with our kids & helps @ lunch @ the kids’ Montessori. He is a good man. He puts up with a lot.
A while back I was introduced to a man I wil call John at a party. We had a brief relationship & I got pregnant sleeping with him once…yes, yes, poor judgement, lack of self control, sin, irresponsible toward my family…I agree. But none of that changes the current situation. I could not bring myself to have an abortion because I know & love the 4 children I have & I had a period of time after I found out I was pregnant with my 4th child (&my son was only 8 months old & I was entering a very intense portion of my training) that I considered terminating my pregnancy. But every time I look at her I think how much poorer I would be if I didn’t have her. So I chose not to terminate this pregnancy either.
John is struggling in life. He is 38 & has an 18 year old daughter who lives w her mother in a dif state. He missed out on most of her life because he was busy using. After spending some time in prison & successfully completing a lengthy drug treatment & rehab program he has done a lot to turn his life around. But his prospects are limited due to his criminal record. He is excited about this baby.
But there is the obvious dillemma…this is not my husband’s baby. He at first was VERY angry with me which is understandable. He is now less angry & we are getting along well, but he doesn’t want to tell anyone about this pregnancy or have to explain anything. He has said that if I want to keep this baby I need to move out. If I move out, I will see my 4 kiddos even less than I do now.
I ask about giving the child up without John’s permission because I know that he would take the child. & I don’t think he would be a poor father, but I REALLY struggle with the effects on this baby…knowing that it has 4 siblings & a mother that live across town but living eternity wondering why I kept them & not it. I know that the child would still be involved in my life in some way, shape, or form even if he took custody….& that would be even harder on the child. To have some marginally/ minimally involved mother & being raised without its 4 siblings. So the thought was that the child would be better off with an adoptive family that was whole.
Ideally, I would like to keep this baby & raise it with my other 4 children. But I don’t know that my husband can come to a place where he could accept this. Especially since John will obviously be involved & would need to come to the house to pick the child up etc.
So tell me in this context what would be best? Please spare me the hate & the religious lectures. I am my own worst enemy. But I WOULD appreciate any sincere thoughts / perspectives.
Sorry. This is a book.
No Phil, I appreciated your answer. I just had some incorrect assumptions made about my situation & reasoning for thinking of adoption. I do thank you for your reply.
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I was applying for private medical insurance and got the 2000 questions by the insurance company. All of this was on the phone. No written consents. My husband never even talked to them. They pulled up his medical history somehow on the Web and gave me all the details asking if I was aware of why he recieved certain treatments. One treatment involved shingles and he was prescribed Valtrex. This same drug also treats genital herpes. I knew why he was prescribed this medication, but if I had not, and if it was for genital herpes, it would have been quite a shock for me considering this prescription was 5 years after we were married. My question is are they violating HIPAA and do I need to file a complaint? It makes me very uncomfortable to work with this company after this.
My husband actually did not know I was applying for new coverage. I currently cover our family and was getting quotes from other companies. He never signed anything, never talked to anyone, nothing. The thing that bothers me is if this was reversed and my husband was the insurance prividor in our family and he decided to shop around. I have not had an abortion, but what if I had even before we were married or after and had not told him, but they disclosed this to him without my consent. Same thing, but backwards. Makes you think about who has our medical records and what they can do with them and how little control you have over them.
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Amy Winehouse was admitted to a hospital on Friday after collapsing while struggling with addiction on her neverending vacation in St. Lucia, her rep confirms. Sources described the ‘Rehab’ soulstress as in a “terrible state, a shaking mess” when she was taken to a facility on the Caribbean isle where she’s been staying since December. A flack noted that the singer had recently run out of medication she’d been using to battle her crack and heroin demons.
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(Feb. 14) Chris Brown’s biological father, Clinton Brown, spoke to PEOPLE yesterday about his son’s arrest. This was the first time that he had spoken to the media about the situation and wanted to let the world know that his son was full of concern. The 19-year-old singer was arrested last week before the Grammys for allegedly beating his girlfriend and fellow performer, Rihanna.
“He’s very remorseful. He’s very concerned about the situation and he wants to make sure that [Rihanna's] okay,” the corrections officer told PEOPLE during their interview. Brown had planned to attend his son’s Grammy performance but never made it to the show. “This is unfortunate, this stumble, this situation,” he continued. “Hopefully, he will get past it. We all have our shortcomings. We all trip.”
Brown has nothing but support and love for his son. He tells PEOPLE, “As a father, I couldn’t be more proud … He’s the light of my life.” But he also understands the business the Chris is in. “This music industry is very unforgiving when it comes to having indiscretions,” Brown says. “He will continue to be a good person. He loves people. And like most of us, most humans, things will occur. And hopefully a person won’t be judged simply on that alone.”
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I have an eating disorder (binge eating disorder) and need to go into an inpatient rehab treatment center. Problem is I don’t have any insurance or money. Does anyone know of any programs that offer financial aid or any treatment facilities that take people on with out insurance and if so under what circumstances do they? Basically, I have no money and need help! I am aware of the benefits of therapy, counseling, and 12steps groups and am involved in all three. But I need inpatient care at this point.
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I have been on crack-cocaine for almost 10 years!!! Yes, pathetic I know. I want to quit, but I never do. The world seems quite strange from a sober point of view. I need advice. No treatment centres. Ihate them.
I want to know if anyone out ther changed their life without treatment centres. The reason I don’t like them is because people usually are there for some forced reason. i.e. get out of jail free and it doesn’t do alot of good for those who went on their own!!! Know what I mean?
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My Signifacant other has horrid moodswings at times and finds things to complain about when there is no reason , and shifts blame to me when things are not my fault , he says he is an addict without an addiction ? what does that mean and does anyone know how i help him or help myself understand him , no break up with him answers please.
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