First off,please no bashing and don’t suggest counseling-been there done that. I know I have issues …Am legally separated but he is still in the picture,for the kids. I am nurse,surprised that I’m codependent-ha!ha! Husband of 11 yrs, unemployed more than not-currently working.He got into crack,bankrupted us,in and out of rehab 3 times.A week in jail a yr ago finally helped set him straight,I think he’s been clean since.While using(this has been a 5 yr ordeal) he got physically and even more verbally abusive(always was arrogant).I started drinking to kill the pain/cope( I know better… but everywhere I turned to for support backfired on me and…. he is a great b.s.’er,so cops and everyone thinks he is wonderful.Went to Salvation Army when he tried to strangle me,they threatened to take away my kids…) I have had the same fulltime job for 11 yrs,but most of my friends are gone due to down sizing.My kids all have been in counseling and are happy that dad is”clean” and mostly being nice now,so at the last min I stopped the divorce and kept separation.I can’t help but resent him,afraid he’ll relapse,afraid of his temper,refuse to confide in him cuz he uses anything I say in confidence,against me.Threatened me and family when I filed for the D.Dad is real sick,so I won’t leave the area. He just can’t understand that intellectually I KNOW he is trying,but my heart and fear hold me back from trusting. Whacked isn’t it? Are there support groups on line that are completely confidential that he can’t track?? Thanks
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