Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little under a year now, and I’m still living at home so even though I’m 18 i still have to follow the rules. I’m not allowed to see him so its very stressful to be with him, I have to lie just to see him for a couple of hours. I have a lot of other crap going on so i told him we needed to break up, maybe just for a while until i get my own place because i don’t feel right lying anymore, if i get caught with him i get kicked out so i tried to break up with him. I told him that later on we can try it again but he got so upset. He refused to come and talk in person so we could talk about it face to face, so I had to do it over messages, I explained it wasn’t his fault its just the situation and he started freaking out saying I was all he has and without me theres no reason to live. That he is going to shoot himself in the head, because i’m the only reason he has to live. I know, I know “everyone” threatens this but hes tried to kill himself before…over one of his ex’s, he’s a pretty crap life so i know he’s already depressed, he wont go into any type of treatment program so i didnt know what to do. So i told him i made a mistake and that i was sorry and i didnt mean it, but i’m so tired of feeling like i have responsibility over his life, its not fair, he always tells me how much he went through when i attempted suicide earlier this year and had to go to rehab for 4 months like blackmailing and guilting me saying how i’m just abandoning him,I never loved him and all that. So i guess we’re still together, but I seriously don’t think i can handle this anymore, I am personally bipolar so something as small as this may be to someone else is huge and its driving me crazy. So any input anyone has is greatly appreciated i’m getting to the point where i’m suicidal over this and everything else …thanks for reading my ranting question..

Clicking advertisements helps keep this site running. thank you!

I know it’s like a novel, but please, bear with me…

My parents divorced when I was 8 years old. I lived with my father for a few years and I loved it. Then, I lived with my mother (and still am) and I’ve always hated it.

While my father was unable to provide basic needs such as healthcare insurance and even sometimes electricity or water… he still treated me like a human being and loved me.

While my mother was able to provide those things, she was not (most of the time) loving. I found out later she had been doing drugs for the past 10 years and she went to rehab. Before she went to rehab, she had tried to commit suicide — more than once. She lost her nursing license due to her drug addiction. She’s now in a job she hates married to someone she hates and she takes all her anger and frustration out on us kids. She is bipolar and verbally abusive, without mercy.

Now I’ve come to the point where I’ve had enough of my mother’s abuse. I want to live with my father, but I don’t know what to do…

Currently, he lives in GA for a month and a half. In about three weeks he will find out if he has to move to TX for his job. I am willing to leave my friends for this move (keep in mind I have one year of high school left). By moving to Texas, I will lose my Hope Scholarship in GA (if I even get it). However, if I move back to GA after my senior year of high school and live there for a year I will get it back.

Anyways, the real reason I’m posting this question is out of desperation… My mother’s side of the family is butchering my decision to live with my father. They’re making him out to be the bad guy, when I know it’s my mother who is the abusive one.

Day after day I receive phone call upon phone call yelling at me or begging me or criticizing me. I feel like a shiny new toy that both my mother and father want.

The arguments say I shouldn’t live with my father because he may not be able to provide for me like in the past.

The other side says I shouldn’t live with my mother because she is abusive and only wants custody of me because it would mean she has more power and would receive money from child support.

My father says I should live with him because he will be able to provide for me… a maybe. His new job will be able to do so, but what if he doesn’t get this job? Should I just trust him and go?

My mother says I should live with her because I will be secured health insurance and a home, etc. Even though it is “hell” to live here…

Honestly, I am so sick of everyone yelling at me and I cry for hours everyday because of this. I didn’t mean to hurt anyone and I don’t want to offend anyone and I don’t know what’s good for me anymore.

I honestly believe that just by ending it all, just by running away or by committing suicide myself I can end my problems and anyone else having to deal with me.

I don’t know what to do, but right now all I want to do is leave or just kill myself. I’m so sick of all of this and I think I could just stop everyone else’s worrying as well…What should I do? Please understand my situation. I’m at the rope’s end…

Clicking advertisements helps keep this site running. thank you!