Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

by Brian Daniel Eisenberg

Question by Chad C: How would a woman respond to a man in a drug and alcohol rehab, about a relationship?
Would his “problems” be unsettling or would a woman find his willingness and comitment a good thing?

Best answer:

Answer by ~Bow In My Presence~
It depends on the woman. Maybe if she was in one, as well. Or maybe if she was willing to date someone in hopes that they could change, there’s plenty of dumb women. I used to one of them. I think that yes, his willingness and commitment would be a good thing. Would I date him running the risk of him messing up MY life, never!

Add your own answer in the comments!

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My ex bf began taking cocaine at age 10 as well as drinking and having sex. His parents sent him to a rehab in grade 9 but when he got out he became a dealer and ended up doing time in jail. When he got out he went back to his old ways and ended up leaving a bad breakup of a 3yr relationship/family/friends all behind due to owing people money and the consequences he’d face if he stayed.
He moved back to the city where we went to school 10 years later and begged to take me on a date. I was hesitant because he was so bad as a kid and we weren’t friends but I eventually went and fell in love. Their were so many ups and downs in the relationship taking money from me, selling his possessions ect. I stuck by him no matter how long he went without talking to me or what he did. I would do anything I could to show how much I cared, gifts, taking him out because he had no $ no job, cards, letters you name it I tried it. I took him on a carribean vacation and a week after we got home I was waiting for him to come over and he broke up with me when I called to ask where he was. For almost a month he’d call me on wknds saying he called me by accident b*tch and hang up. When I finally received a nice call he told me he was trying to make me hate him, it was his plan, he had wanted me to tell him to F off, but all I ever said were nice things and he couldn’t understand why I want to talk to him. Things had been good for about 2 months minus the fact he was still hard into cocaine/drinking that of which come before anything else any chance he gets. He always will choose going on benders with his friends over seeing me or any other normal activity. We were talking about what good terms we were on and planning a summer vacation a few days ago when 2 days later I call him and he txts saying “I have a girlfriend” when I called him he was with his friends prob 3 days without sleep on a drug/alch spree, I was so shocked and upset, he just told me not to call him, stay the F away from his family ect. I don’t believe he has a gf because I know him well enough to know we wouldn’t have spoke for the last few months if that was the case. I just don’t understand how addicts can abrubtly change their minds so quick and lash out for NO reason! I am so hurt and not stupid, I am not happy when we are together because all he wants to do is drugs or drink (which I only drink) but when I am apart from him or know he wont speak to me I am so upset, it hurts to see him do this to himself.. what should I do?
He always says things like ” i wont be around for long” “everyone knows ill die from drugs or alchohol” “i dont want to stop doing cocaine, its just who i am” “when hes doing the drug he says he doesnt care about ne thing else except continuing to party” he eventually calms down when the high is over but he paces around cant sit still mumbles, looks through windows freaks out its so scary :(
He has a crazy temper and wants to starts fight with friends or anyone, he once threw a 26 across the room full… at the cabin he poured chocolate milk all over his sisters friends because he was mad.

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My girlfriend and i have a long distance relationship (i live in swansea, she lives in bristol). my friends were always cautious due to the distance but i always told them that the distance worked, because it meant our relationship was deeper, seeing as we talk a lot more than anything we do physically. We have been dating for a long while and we had both just told each other that we loved each other. we looked in each others eyes when we did this with huge smiles on our faces, and we took things further than we had ever done with anyone ever before. The next day she went home, and i went back to my home on the wirral for christmas (im a university student). That night i got a message from her telling me she had just slept with an ex who we had had many arguments about because they flirted outragously, even asking each other when they were going to have sex, despite my girlfriend having been a virgin until the night before. Even worse, the next day she slept with him again, although this time she tried to hide it from me until her sister found out what she had done and got her to confess. I dumped her, but i couldnt help myself, and 4 days later we talked and got back together. I am a very forgiving person, and after another week i had forgiven her, because she said the incidents had been due to a large ammount of alcohol and preassure from both her sister and this guy.

Right after i forgave her (i had gotten her to promise to cut all ties with the guy before i could) she promised me he was not going to be at a party she was attending while she was on the phone to me, and not even an hour later i was told she had leapt on him as soon as she got through the door, not 2 minutes after promising he wasnt there. to make things even worse, that was christmas day, and our anniversary.

Its been a month since the kiss, but we have had a lot of problems. my girlfriend says shes sorry, but refuses to say why she did it other than ‘i wasnt thinking, i was drunk, and her sister said to stop teasing the poor bloke (who is almost 10 years older than her) or to sleep with him, so she chose to fuck him on her sister kitchen floor with her nephew in the next room. finally, she admitted she was scared because her feelings for me were getting too serious. She assures me she hasnt done it since, and i believe she doesnt want to hurt me anymore, but i cant shake the feeling she has been going with him behind my back since christmas, and is doing stuff every night due to excessive alcoholism she has now started… Will i ever be able to trust her again? she keeps asking me how she can get my trust back, but i dont have an answer for her, and i cant stop thinking about it, having nightmares, etc… it doesnt help that her and every other girlfriend ive ever had has done it (ive only had 6 in total, but still) and that every single one of them has given reasons as to why it isnt my fault, but i really cant help but think it is…

Until now i have never really been jealous or controlling, but now im rediculously paranoid. can anyone give any suggestions that could help make things easier for us? or that could help us work things out… im practically begging for help here…

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I have been seeing this girl for over 10 months now, i met her at work after just moving to a new town and we became really good friends really quickly. After awhile she decided to move into “staff accom” with me, this seemed like a good idea. She is 7 years older then me but we both got passed that. We decided to sleep together after awhile of being comfortable with each other. After that things were even better between us and she told me a lot of her past, secrets, general life experience, and so on. But she did just get out of a two year relationship and she was convincing me that it was done…not the case. She still talked to him all the time, “visiting” him a few hours away and eagerly awaiting his calls. So i then decided to see other girls, this is when sh** went down hill. She pulled me away from talking with this new girl and dropped a bomb.. “you have no idea what im giving up for you..bla bla bla”. So being a sucker i fell for it and got burned hardcore when he moved back into town (plus she was sleeping with other guys after we stopped sleeping together shortly before he came back) . So a few months later i moved back home. She called me every other day, reminiscing about the old times and how much she misses me and how her ex is treating her like shit and so on. I decided to visit her for a week, and it was probably this best week of my life with her…until the last day when i caught her sleeping with her ex… I then excommunicated her from my life for 3 months. She decided to put herself through a treatment program and rehab center (yes she does of “issues”) and apparently devoted herself to god now and she started this for me.. and it finishing it for herself. Since i gave her my number again she has literally called me every day and has admitted to the “manipulative monster” she was before and made a pretty intense amend with me. She says i “saved her life without knowing it” She apparently wants to start a monogamous life with me and wants to be my “partner” and swears up and down she’ll never go back to that life. Although she did talk to her ex about getting back together just before we started talking again..She hasn’t talked to him in a month..and is apperently ready to give me everything i deserve now that im back in her life…Should i believe her? Her plan is to live with me in a new city..should i give her that chance? Am i still on the back burner?

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Like the fact that you have a crippling porn addiction and have sexual fantasies about your own sister??. Should I keep these things hidden???

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We dated for 3 years, we were so inlove. HAd the most perfect relationship, no secrets.. we fought ofcourse.. but then someone told him i cheated on him the whole time he was in rehab and i didnt. Nowe he broke up with me and he has had 2 girlfriends since the 2 weeks we have been broken up.. and he got them like the day after we broke up. I just dont get how he can be so happy and move on so fast. His mom told me after someone told him i cheated he sat in his room sad for like 3 days and he called me and told me to enver talk or look at him again. And at school he basiclly ignores me.. except for today.. he talked to me alittle but he acted like nothing even happened with us ever. Like we hadnt spent 3 years together. he sits there and talks about his new girlfriend.. He tells everyone he is over me and moved on and its only been 2 weeks. I don’t know what to do? I still love him and i know he has to love me deep down. Do you think he will relaise things later on if i give him space?
I was the bigger person and said hi when i walked past him the other day.. and that day he acknowledged me more than any other day since we broke up. I catch him stairing at me, until i look at him.. He hasnt even tried to call or talk to me since we broke up..

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I’m almost 9 months pregnant by my boyfriend of 14 months. I have 2 other children by two different men. My boyfriend lives with me and my two kids. He was financially responsible for all of us until he got laid off several months ago. We really didn’t get a chance to get to know each other. Since we’ve been together we have broken at least 6 or more times. He once told me that we get along better as friends. Anyway, I found out through his family that he was originally in love with another young lady before he met me . They said he was crazy about her and that she brought out the best in him. I found hidden pictures of them together in his computer files. I must admit she is very beautiful. She kinda looks like a cross between Kim Kardashian and Cassie. (she’s mixed with black and arab). Long story short she dumped him because he wouldn’t get help for his alcoholism, which really crushed him. So I guess I was the rebound girl. Anyway, 7 months into our relationship I noticed he started not coming home, start arguments with me, and fixing himself up more. Then I broke into his email and found out that he started seeing his ex again!! He emails her love letters and tells her how much he misses her. But he told her he is confused because he doesn’t know if he should leave me for her or be obligated to stay with the mother of his child. I’m so hurt.

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I recently found out that my BF of 5 years has been taking prescription drugs that were NEVER prescribed to him. Because he kept the pill addiction a secret, I really don’t trust him anymore. I sensed that there was something going on w/pills, confronted him about it, and was always told that nothing was going on. The only thing I didn’t do was make him take a drug test. He is clean now for 10 months. Is it possible to build trust again in this type of situation?

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Since me and my husband have been married (2yrs ago) I always complained about our sex life. I found out when I was pregnant that he had a secret porn addiction and masturbated daily behind my back whilst indulging in free online porn videos. He rejects my attempts, I cant touch him at night. When I have an urge I suck it up and get frustrated. I go for months without being satisfied. Yesterday after a dramatic scene, he confessed to me that he always has been a porn addict and that he sincerely seeks help to recover. He claims he does not want to be that way and that he can’t stop without professional help. Today after long research and phone conversations with therapists I came to realize what I feared for a long time. Once an addict always an addict. And he may always relapse to porn. He completely has cut me off his sex life. But the damage is even bigger than just that. I don’t want to have sex with him anymore either because I know that he is damaged. I know the sex we will possibly have will not mean what it should mean that he will always think of porn at the back of his mind. I do love him but I can’t get myself to want him sexually anymore. And my husband is my knight shining armor and I am afraid this means the end for us. It’s like someone who spit in your food. I just can’t have it anymore….My question is do you believe he can fully recover and enjoy a normal healthy sex life with me? And will I be able to doubt and second thought him the whole time???

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I am in a relationship with a woman who knows about my addiction to infantilism (wearing diapers). I don’t want to call it a fetish, because unlike a fetish, I don’t ‘need’ diapers to be aroused. I know most people have little to no understanding of the issues of infantilism. The term ‘infantilism’ has such a broad range that those who practice even a mild form of it, although keeping to themselves, seem to get a very negative reaction. The only clarification I want to make is that it has NOTHING to do with children AT ALL. Now for me,, I don’t go around dressing nor acting like a baby. I keep my business to myself and don’t go around flaunting it or putting it in people’s faces by making it obvious that I wear diapers. In fact, no one has ever known I wear diapers except for my GF (who I recently told). We are both christian believers, and she is of the strong opinion that having this addiction to diapers is a hindrance to my life. While I know this addiction of mine isn’t something that is not shared by mainstream society, I don’t think it is harming anything. I apologize if my question is a bit long, but I am trying to put as many facts as I can into it, so that those answering can be as informed as possible. I do, on occasion, wet the diapers while wearing them, but generally don’t carry it any further than that. Basically I wear under my normal clothes, and go about mt daily business without anyone knowing.

My questions are.

1) If after moving to an other state to be with the person you are dating and claim to love ( having known of their diaper addiction BEFORE you ever moved) would you break off the relationship?

2) How would you feel if the person you are with wears diapers from time to time, even though they don’t flaunt it?

3) If diapers give me such comfort, and pleasure, from time to time,,,should I do away with them, or is my GF being insensitive in her request/demand for me to give them up perminatly?

If you have any other questions please feel free to ask, and I will try to answer them ( if I can) before I choose a best answer.
This is a serious question, and so I am asking that those wishing to make immature comments, please find some other question to leave your stupid remarks on.
in response to misspreo:
I told my GF about 3 years after knowing each other. We were dating about 6 months also by then. She claims to be DEEPLY in love with me.

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