Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

My boyfriend and I had been together for almost 4 years when he got drunk and cheated on me with his best female friend twice. He broke down and apologized but our relationship was never the same after that. I got depressed to the extent my parents made me take antidepressants and manhandled me also suggesting I should go to rehab. I was very depressed at the time because I didn’t eat or sleep. All I did was cry and stare blankly in space.
However, when I was treated this way by my family I realized no one is going to help me through it. I have to gather myself together and not be weak and fall prey to anyone. I made myself better, threw away the antidepressants and underwent a personality change-I stopped caring about anything and anybody at all except myself.
It was all working out for me. My boyfriend was still with me because I thought I had forgiven him. Yet, he dated his female friend, the same one he slept with. He didn’t sleep with her after those two times though. All they did was hang out together. The only reason all of this happened first of all is because I live in another state and he lives in another. It takes a lot of effort to travel to meet. All he wanted was someone to hang out with all the time.
So I grew really close to a guy friend of mine who was also in another state. I had helped him get over his break up a year ago. He really liked me and expressed his adoration vaguely. But as soon as things started to look better he grew afraid of the future and pulled away. He started fighting with me and demeaning me calling me a prostitute just so I would push him away before he did. I understood why he was doing it but I tried to make it work. One day he just blocked and deleted all contact from me and I haven’t heard from him again.
Meanwhile, this other guy from college, he befriended me and I tried to push him away from the start. I told him each and everything I had to go through with my boyfriend and my male friend. I told this new friend of mine to stay away for his own good but he said all he wanted to do was help me. I had grown pretty bitter by this time because I hated my life. Yet he helped me through it all. He listened without complaining and did the sweetest things possible like if I said I wanted to walk he would just get up and be ready to walk with me in the park without even me asking him.
He has a girlfriend and they have been dating for more than three years. I had already met with her and I admired them both as a couple. I didn’t know when he started having feelings for me. On Easter I went to meet him because he called me and said he was really down. By this time I was really fond of him and I wanted to help him out for all he had done for me. Well, not only did he feel better seeing me he also said he wanted to kiss me real bad. I didn’t lead him on because we both knew it was wrong. He had a girlfriend who’d never cheated on him and I was still with my boyfriend who, no matter how much he hurt me, was still my boyfriend.
Anyhow, I didn’t let him kiss me but when I was leaving I gave a goodbye hug and he slowly pulled back and eventually did kiss me. When I came home and talked to him he said it was the greatest kiss he had ever had and he asked me to promise him I’d kiss him again.
But the next day he felt bad because he was hiding it from his gf so I told him we won’t do anything. Yet again when we were alone he kissed me again and surprisingly I didn’t feel bad about it. He praised me a lot. And one thing led to another we used to kiss and tickle and just enjoy it all. It happened over a course of two weeks until his gf found out and then he was shattered. He had cheated on her twice before and he had broken down and confessed and begged her to take him back.
But this time it was different because it was with me, one of his closest female friends and he hid it from her and according to her, was sorry that she found out. She confronted me face to face and told me he had feelings for me and that how could I do something like this to her knowing how it feels to be cheated on.
Now, he has stopped talking to me. My boyfriend terms me a whore because he has double standards. I lost the closest person on Earth to me but I pray for him to be happy everyday. We had some great times together and he was the only one who got me in so many ways I never even knew about myself.
I feel guilty and heart broken but only because I led him on to something that shouldn’t have happened.
I just want opinions on what happened. How do I make myself feel better? Is my bf right about me?

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My forbidden secret lover and I want to get matching tattoos that respresent our love, our lust, our addiction to each other, and our commitment to one another. We are both married so it needs to be something that our spouses are not easily able to understand the meaning.

We thought of a symbol in kanji and just telling our spouses it’s their name or some other meaning. But, I want something that is prettier than that. I want something that matches that can be for a male and female. Not too masculine, not too feminine with a touch of lust and love. Something that represents secret or forbidden.

Also if you can think of a good place to put these tattoos on our bodies. We welcome any ideas! It needs to be in a place that doesn’t show to the public easily due to business.

Please reply ASAP because I’d like to get this done very soon. Please don’t respond with hateful replies. We know what we are doing is considered wrong to most people but this is our choice.

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I have always lived in a family of smokers. My mother and father have smoked for over 30 years. I have friends who have smoked for years, and who claim that they can not stop due to nicotine “addiction.” I decided to perform an experiment so that I could put myself in their shoes and finally give me right to criticize their unhealthy habit. I decided to over a 1-month period build up my tolerance to nicotine to the equivalent of 2 packs / day using Nicotine Polacrilex gum. I began with the 4 mg gum, building up my tolerance to 10 pieces / day = 40 mg nicotine which is over the equivalent nicotine of 40 cigarettes. I build up to 10 pieces within 2 weeks, and continued to chew 10 pieces / day for 2 weeks. At the end of the 1-month period, I was going to stop cold turkey. I was returning home for christmas break, and left my nicotine at college. There was no way that I would have gotten away with sneaking to the local CVS in order to purchase more gum, even if I wanted to, so I knew I would not fail. The half-life of nicotine is very short, so the physical addiction is gone within a few days. Therefore, I knew I was going to be in for a bumpy ride.

However, it was nothing like I expected it to be. Yes – I felt the urge to chew more gum, and noticed myself feeling groggy, and a little more easily agitated, but I still was able to act like my normal self. By the third day of no nicotine, I had no desire to continue chewing the gum. Yes, I enjoyed it thoroughly, and would chew more if given the opportunity, but I really didn’t feel an uncontrollable desire to chew more gum. My parents act as though they will go insane without their next cigarette when they get that urge, and refuse to do anything other than smoke when the urge comes around. Therefore, I think that I am living proof that cigarettes aren’t that addictive. There is no use in smoking cigarettes… in fact, the gum is even more pleasurable than smoking a cigar (which I have smoke about 5 in my lifetime) I have never smoked a cigarette and never will. Currently I have bought another pack of 4 mg gum and chew a piece or two a day, sometimes not. Yesterday, I didn’t chew a piece at all, and I haven’t yet today. Tonight, I might, because it is an enjoyable drug… However, as far as I am concerned the physical addiction is bull. Sure, the habit might contribute to the inability to quit, but as far as I am concerned, one’s health is more important. This goes out to all smokers –> stop chewing, pick up some gum, and enjoy. :D

My question to those of you out there, is has anyone else performed this type of experiment, and if so? what were the results? Also, can you smokers out there give me more input as to why you don’t stop smoking and sacrifice your health for cheap pleasure, which actually can be obtained from buying the gum, and getting a nice nicotine buzz. 4 mg CVS brand nicotine citrus gum is awesome. It tastes good, and you get a gooooood buzz. (probably the equivalent of about 5 cigarettes at once.

Give me your opinions / suggestions, etc?
Then what do you all claim the real reason you keep smoking is?

Is it the habit, because the addiction doesn’t seem that bad to me… Is it a social thing, or what?

I mean, smoking a cigar does help relieve stress. I’m sure cigarettes do the same for you all, but I prefer the gum to cigars anyways…. What’s the addiction all about?

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When it comes to my best friend, I’m an open book. I’m able to tell him anything without fear of him judging me or telling my secrets to anyone. I trust him more than anyone, but with this, I’m not sure if I should tell him. I’m actually so very ashamed of cutting, I’ve only told one person in my life, who was an ex boyfriend in the past, but he doesn’t even matter anymore. I wish I could take it back, but it’s not a huge deal because I never see him or have any contact with him.

But anyway, I’ve been cutting for 3 years, and it’s not an addiction. I do it either once every few months or once a month, but the past two days I’ve done it both nights. I cut on my thighs and hip so that no one will ever suspect. I’m so ashamed of this, because of how it is viewed in society. I do it as a way to punish myself when I get really depressed or feel like I’ve failed, and gained weight. (I’m bulimic for two and a half years.) I’ve had a really rough past which includes my fathers alcoholism, his abusing my mother, him molesting me, and just other things unfortunate.

He knows pretty much everything about me, except the cutting. The cutting is not a problem, not an addiction, so I’m not sure if I should bring it up. I just want him to know I trust in him so much, but I feel like if I tell him he might think I tell him just too many things. Plus I wanted to keep just a secret for myself, but now I’m unsure… what do you think I should do?

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I have an eating disorder (binge eating disorder) and need to go into an inpatient rehab treatment center. Problem is I don’t have any insurance or money. Does anyone know of any programs that offer financial aid or any treatment facilities that take people on with out insurance and if so under what circumstances do they? Basically, I have no money and need help! I am aware of the benefits of therapy, counseling, and 12steps groups and am involved in all three. But I need inpatient care at this point.

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