Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

She has wasted so much of here life, that now, it seems like she is in the same level as i am, and am 15. I dont know what to do anymore. I can trust her, anytime i do tell her a secret, or something personal, i open up to her, i forgive, and yet she basically tells me F*** you, and then i reget telling her anything, i can’t wotk on a realtionship with her because constantly giving me a reason not to even bother. Am stressed out, ive been depressed, and finally after 3 years am beginning to be happy again(after my grandmother death), but i just dont know how to deal wit her.

She is so revenge seekgin right now, especially with me. She says that i remind her of er and that am disrespectful, which i agree to an extent, but how much more am i suppoesed to deal with this?? I think 12 years howve been enough..

I even got a acs case because we got into a fight, were she went over the egde, and finally my school found out what she was doing..i swear i just want o run away at times…
Am doing pretty good, from what eeryone expects though..i get decent grades, have’nt had any boyfreinds, just 1, which was nothing..still a virgin, and has never, ever touch drugs…
i dont even know my dad..she does’nt even know

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I feel bad about putting all this out there, but I don’t know where else to turn. My mother is an alcoholic and has been for all my life–and majority of her own. I’ve heard a lot of stories that make me feel ashamed and embarrassed about how she was before I was born. She’d party a lot and she’d drink until she passed out, her ‘friends’ would take turns having sex with her and she would never know it. She drank while she was pregnant with me–and luckily, I don’t have any defects. She’s a good mom, does what any mother would for her kid and makes sure she goes to work but she still drinks.

I have very vague memories as a child of how I’d cry over my mom thinking she was dead any time I saw her sleeping longer than I thought normal–she was difficult to wake up. As I grew up, I realized that she wasn’t just sleeping, she ‘blacked out.’ I learned more about it and was able to tell that she was drunk. She’s a mean drunk.

She’ll start arguments, ridicule you over things that don’t make sense, call you names, and will even hit/shove you and she’ll deny it all in the end, wake up the next day and not remember it. She drinks before and after she goes to work, she tries to look like she doesn’t drink or smoke, but she’s not fooling anyone. She lost her sense of smell and taste from smoking.

During my childhood, I lived with my grandmother and by the time I was 12, my grandma told my mom she had to get out by the end of the month, but leave me behind–which was what I wanted. My grandma died not too long after she said that, so I was stuck with her regardless. So by 13-15, I had to live with her alone and she became more violent and drank constantly still. She hides boxes of wine under her bed, stashes beer cans, and keeps the taps like its a bottle cap collection. I moved out and went to live with my dad at 15 strictly because of her alcoholism, and (I’m 17 now)–whenever I come over to visit for the weekend, she still gets drunk.

She’ll refill her glass every time it gets low on wine or beer, making it look like she’s only had the one the entire time. She tries to hide it, but she doesn’t have a problem nor does she care to fix her habits. I’m really sorry that I made the detail a little too long or that it’s a ‘life story’ I don’t mean it to be–but I don’t know how to condense how bad it is.

We’ve tried everything. Councilling, Therapy, Psychiatrist, even a priest or two. She doesn’t listen to them, and she doesn’t listen to me. She doesn’t say she’s sorry, and no matter how obvious I make her drinking an issue, she thinks its me who has the problem. At the rate she drinks.. It affects her greatly. She’s no longer as smart as she used to be, her hair is thinning and falling out, and her teeth are rotting. She used to be gorgeous, lovely smile, black raven hair, with a natural gray streak(birthmark). She’s only 44! She’ll probably die at 50, I don’t know what to do.. any word of advice would really help.

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You see, it’s her religion. She thinks enjoying drunkeness every once and awhile is alcoholism. Fine, great, so she never drinks, but she gets on my nerves. I don’t tell her I drink. I’m an adult and it’s none of her business, but the preaching and the drama like she’s some victim of an ‘addictive personality’ and a father with alcoholism is really annoying when it comes up. What should I do? I don’t feel I should have to live my adult life hiding the fact that I enjoy a drink now and then, but what?

The whole Jesus made wine and archeological evidence that the alcoholic beverages back then were not just grape juice with an insignificant amount of alcohol (like she claims) aka reason doesn’t work. What can I do so if I want a little rum in my coke I can? My father is the same way. He even supports her in her so called alcoholism!

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I’m almost 9 months pregnant by my boyfriend of 14 months. I have 2 other children by two different men. My boyfriend lives with me and my two kids. He was financially responsible for all of us until he got laid off several months ago. We really didn’t get a chance to get to know each other. Since we’ve been together we have broken at least 6 or more times. He once told me that we get along better as friends. Anyway, I found out through his family that he was originally in love with another young lady before he met me . They said he was crazy about her and that she brought out the best in him. I found hidden pictures of them together in his computer files. I must admit she is very beautiful. She kinda looks like a cross between Kim Kardashian and Cassie. (she’s mixed with black and arab). Long story short she dumped him because he wouldn’t get help for his alcoholism, which really crushed him. So I guess I was the rebound girl. Anyway, 7 months into our relationship I noticed he started not coming home, start arguments with me, and fixing himself up more. Then I broke into his email and found out that he started seeing his ex again!! He emails her love letters and tells her how much he misses her. But he told her he is confused because he doesn’t know if he should leave me for her or be obligated to stay with the mother of his child. I’m so hurt.

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I hate it when people ask me how my mom is. As a kid she was VERY verbally abusive to me and she is also an alcoholic. She has been physically abusive to me on occasions as well. I am now an adult and I don’t have very much to do with her, but members of my (deceased) father’s family will often ask me how she is doing and one of my college friends just asked me for he address so she could mail my mother a Christmas card. Most of these people are people who know at the very least that my mother and I do not get along. She is good at hiding her alcoholism and when I would try to talk to people about the things she would say to me as a kid people would just say, “Oh, she is your mom, she loves you,” or, “you know when you grow up you will be best friends.” I think people have a lot of trouble believing that a mother could be this way, especially people who are close to their own mothers. And so when they ask me how she is doing I usually just say I don’t know I don’t see her that much, but people either look at me like they feel sorry for HER, or they look at me like I am stupid for not knowing how my own mother is. So my question is how SHOULD I handle things like this? I am the oldest in my family so this sort of question falls on me a lot, but now that I am an adult I just try not to think about her and what my Dad’s death turned her into. I just like to live my life and be happy so I wish people would just ask me about me and my husband when they talk to me. I don’t care how she is. Probably drunk and angry, that is how she is.

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My name is Amber, and I myself am not an alcoholic. My mother, however, has been an alcoholic for my entire life and I just found this out recently. She’s taken major steps in hiding her alcoholism from my sister and I but the unavoidable happened. Though I don’t know much about her alcoholism just yet, I’ve asked doctors if the trigger might possibly be PMDD. The doctor who specializes in women and the effects that such a disorder might have told me that PMDD could absolutely be a trigger in my mother’s alcoholic fits. She will only drink every few months, but every time she does it’s a few days before and during her menstrual cycle. For as long as she has been drinking she absolutely refuses to seek any professional help. Her first marriage crumbled because of this, and now her second with my step father is nearly over as well.
I just wish to talk to someone to help me with guidance. I’m completely lost at how to approach her and tell her that this problem that she’s been having for over twenty years might just be set off by a chemical imbalance. It would really help me if I could talk to someone that I knew might be having or had the same problem as my mother. I implore you to read this knowing that the woman who has taken care of me for seventeen years is now in dire need of my help. Please, please help me.

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I’ve been depresses since about a month or so before school started. I had all the symptoms – an empty mood, loss of interest, excessive crying, feelings of worthlessness or pessimism, decreased energy and fatigue, feeling ‘slowed down,’ difficulty concentrating and making decisions, and other physical pains (headaches, back pains, etc.)

It’s getting to a bad point – not suicidal, not that extreme – but the fact that I’m stuck in this…rut and I can’t get out makes me even MORE depressed ABOUT my depression.

My problem:

My mother takes nothing seriously. (This has contributed to my depression, might I add.) The last time I opened up to her was two years ago, about how I was upset that she and I fought a lot and that never seemed to happen with her and my brother. She proceeded to yell at me, and tell me that “I’d be lucky if my brother talks to me after I leave for college.” That was the only time in my life I’ve ever tried telling her how I felt, and she responded to it with unnecessary anger. One day, when I tried to mention in passing that I felt like I had barely any friends at my school, she called me, and I quote, a “dramatic bitch.”

Don’t get me wrong. My mother is an amazing person, I love her and she loves me. But when it comes to serious conversation topics, she gets angry and confronts them with power struggles. She takes nothing I say seriously and assumes I am being dramatic because I’m a 16 year old therefore MUST be indescribably horomonal.

So. If I tried to sit her down one day and genuinely say, “Mom, I really do believe you don’t take some of the things I say seriously and I would like you to have more respect for my thoughts and opinions.”

…she would probably laugh in my face and / or ground me.

And if I told her I was depressed, and wanted help, again, the same result. Or she’d accuse me of faking for attention. (God knows I need attention from my family, but there is no way in hell I’d fake a medical condition to receive it. I’m not a twisted person.)

I also haven’t SEEMED depressed lately, to others at least. From an outsider’s point of view, my grades have not changed, my physical appearance has not changed, and nor has my general aura around people.

Which of course would all be points brought up by my mother in a debate over whether I’m “really” depressed or not.

I’m not asking for tips on how to deal with difficult people like my mother.

I’m asking how NOT to deal with her. I’ve considered guidance counselors at my school, but considering it is a catholic school and they have told previous students in my condition to pray, and see the light of God, I’m crossing that option off the list. I’d talk to a doctor in confidentiality, but sooner or later said doctor would deem this serious and make contact with my mother (considering I am, in fact, a minor), who would refuse me any sort of therapy or medication, again claiming I was attention starved.

I’d rather avoid asking about over the counter depression medications for fear of looking like a scam artist with an addiction to popping pills, but if push comes to shove…

(Again. That I would rather avoid…)

So.

There really is no specific question here…what I’m looking for is advice from anyone there who has (or hasn’t) been in situations like this. Who should I talk to – where should I turn? Are there any methods of therapy or medication (prescription or not.) that have worked for you in the past? I would prefer if nobody left advice about my mother, I have deemed her stubborn close-mindedness incurable, but feel free to leave any advice about her, if you wish.

Anything and everything you say will be taken into great value. I really really do want to hear from anyone out there. Thank you so much for putting up with my awful, horribly long ‘question’ of sorts.

<3
Oh, and I don’t believe stress is the base of my depression. This all started on a fun family vacation, and school has been relatively easy this year.

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