Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

by familymwr

Question by Mary From Wyoming: what is the BEST drug rehabilitation clinic for my husband to go to?
My husband has been struggling with a drug problem for about 2 years. He was addicted to cocaine and eventually starting mixing it with Heroine. Now he is Finally ready for help but he wants to keep it confidential and he is looking for an alternative to 12 step programs and an alternative to narconon. We are atheists and would prefer a NON religious drug treatment center. can anyone tell us where to get more information about this?

Thank you for your time.

Best answer:

Answer by ***Invisible Pink Unicorn***
Good luck finding a rehab that isn’t 12 step based!

I’m an atheist in recovery as well!

I use the N/A program without the whole “god” thing!

Think of “god” as good orderly direction!

That’s what I did/do and have managed to stay clean and sober for almost 4yrs now!

Email me if you like!

No matter what you decide good luck to you both! Its not an easy road to tackle at first but with time and a clear mind its an amazing journey! Continued support is necessary to make it – you don’t just do 28 days rehab and assume all is well!

Edit: Merlin Bravo! Had no clue too bad its in Malibu!

Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!

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My husband has had 7 jobs within the past year or so. He is currently unemployed and seeking employment (shall I say he goes job hunting for about 2 hours every week.) He is a recovering drug addict and has little motivation to do much else. He disappears without explanation, usually for a couple of days. He is very self involved. He doesn’t much care about anyone else’s feelings and makes it known.

I support the family by my full-time job and his mother watches our daughter during the day because I cannot trust him.

He has stolen from me. He has stolen and/or pawned my jewelry, cameras, car, cell phones, appliances and money. He apologizes but is less than heartfelt.

He has gone to rehab many times but to no success. I live in lock down. I keep my valuables in a safe.
I am obviously unhappy and a and am just exhausted of this lifestyle. I never know what to expect and I just don’t like that feeling. I moved out of our apartment and moved in with my parents. My lease is up after this month and I am not signing a new lease with him. I cannot afford it. I want a divorce and I also want full custody of our daughter. I don’t know how likely a judge will grant me full custody but I think I have a good shot.

My husband does not have a job. He does not have health insurance. He does not have a car. He takes off without being accountable for his actions and still does drugs.(I haven’t tested him for drugs but his behavior is an indication.)

I didn’t want things to be this way and I wish he was responsible but I guess my question is how likely is it that I get full custody? I want my child to be safe and the environment that he is creating is disruptive.

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He will deny everything he has done and blame me, his wife for everything. On occasion he will take some blame. He did not have an income (he always makes sure to spout off that he is in fact working) for a couple of years and no benefits for his family.

No matter what -he has stayed his own course even though financial ruin has been around him. No income, selling his watch to a pawn shop, bringing his wedding ring in to get a loan-then get the ring back, increasing anger, 60K of credit card debts, personal loans from friends–always doing it behind my back, oh and the worst part during all this he would dip into our home equity and say he needs to then all the while he does work per se though has no or spotty income. After a 2 year adjustable arm mortgage he put us in (i would cry and say no I do not want to refinance again) we almost went under. I got our house out of foreclosure by the grace of God.
He tends to still be this Napolean Man and surely this is not the guy I married. I am not sure if he is ill, or addicted to power and control?, or hiding substance abuse? Or chemical imbalance in his brain?
I just want him to get well. I have children to raise with him and after him calling me bad names, etc. ie. abuse on all levels….well just feeling frustrated like when will this end! Has anyone seen someone just throw in the towel for their marriage/family? I mean at times we barely have any money to buy a gallon of milk. I am always frantic running around like a chicken with my head cut off picking up the pieces (ie. getting jobs,etc.) I am scared that he is hiding something that he did. I mean when you see financial ruin for so long is it just depression or something more? Anyone go thru something like this?
Therapists tell me to just focus in on me and my children and let his chips fall where they may. But see what they do not know is he is still loved by me (i love the man he used to be) and he is an amazing Father. Even though he has been cruel to me I still love this Napolean Man!

He has a lot of addiction, ie. alcoholism and drug addiction and depression in his family.
He thinks money is going to solve this (yea some of it it will) but I think there are deeper issues.

Thanks

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My husband has had a addiction to porn, he finally admitted this to me last year. After I found alot of pics on the computer and websites he visited. He said that he has it under control now, but I do not believe him. I have not found any evidence of cheating. But this porn addiction feels like cheating to me. I don’t know what to do. I just found out that he has just recently went on a website to meet women who just want to have casual and secret sexual relationships. When I asked him about it he just said that he went to another site and that the singles website just was a pop up. But we have a pop up blocker, so I know that what he saying is bull.
I believe that my husband is a grown man and I don’t give him “permission” to do anything, we discuss our likes and dislikes. We watched porn together, I have a problem with him hiding it, and it has become obsessive. We watched porn together for fun, to get ideas about different positions, to keep our sex life spicy. And even after 10 years our sex life is wonderful. That’s why I’m having a hard time understanding this addiction. I’m concerned about the secrecy and denial. I’m now more concerned about him going to a website to meet women for casual sex. Is cheating next? We have a great relationship, he is even my bestfriend we hardly have any arguements about anything.

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My husband works in a drug rehab and this x-crack head kissed my husband in front of me on his cheek, but it had a hidden meaning behind it. I think he has has cheated w/this woman. His co-worker even gave him a secret subtle hint that she was there. He played it off like she was just an client that was doing well with her recovery but I beg to differ. I think it is more to it. Do I have reason to be suspicious? And He has always accused me of cheating before for no reason. Is this way of covering up what he has been doing?

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He lost his first wife because he would watch porn alot. But then again they never had sex because she didn’t like it. But now he is married to me and last year I found out he was watching porn on the internet. No big deal right? Wrong. It got to the point that he would have to watch it before having sex with me. We talked about and he said he won’t do it as much. He was good for awhile but now he is doing it again. I told him before that I didn’t care but he is keeping it a secret again. I ask him if I could watch with him and of course he said no. I have done every thing my husband has asked me to do in the bedroom. I do mean everything. Like spanking, gagging, stuff like that cause he really likes it. I have even ask if he would like another woman in the bedroom. I don’t understand why he hides it from me? I also don’t understand why he gets upset with me after watching it.He treats me like shit later on in the day and I don’t understand why? I am not mad at the fact that he watches but the fact he lies to me about it. I do know that he cheated on his first wife. I am scared that he will soon do that to me. So my question is do you think he has an addiction to sex? and why does he get upset with me after he watches it. I don’t say anything to him so why be upset with me? I am really confused and really don’t understand what I am doing wrong? I am getting to the point where I am about to leave!!!! Like I said I don’t mind that he watches just that he treats me like crap for the rest of the day after he does! and the fact he keeps it a secret? What would you do or think? Thanks for the help.

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Friday 4.9.2007 he started going through withdrawls. I can’t stand to see him like that. He has to go through this to get off of the pills. It didn’t take him long to break and get more. His addiction has gotten so bad that I have to go and get his check on Friday’s. I don’t mind and I do see this as a change for the better. How can’t I cope with this without throwing up my hands. I know it is an addiction and he has to handle this himself but, please realise I didn’t ask to be put in the middle of it all either. I do love him and I am trying to help but, I also have a family besides him to care for. (2 girls) When I try my hardest seems that is when he is his worst. any tips? anyone?
4.13.2007 he is to have surgery (fusion in his neck) He told me that he is goibg to cut back sloely because he is tired of depending on them and he hates that he let this happen. though it is alot of hot air because he has lied so much I never know what is truth and what is a lie. He gave me his pills so I could give him 4 a day as perscribed not 7 to 10 like he takes. Yesterday morning I gave him his 4 for the day (because he asked) and I said “don’t ask for more tonight. Well he called me at work yesterday afternoon and told me to bring him 8 more and I told him no and he started yelling at me and said either bring me 8 or the whole bottle. After thinking I took the whole bottle and threw it at him and told him “I am through with this and am over the whole situation. I know he needs my help but truely what has he done for me? If his pay check hits his hands on Friday it is gone before he gets home.

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Since me and my husband have been married (2yrs ago) I always complained about our sex life. I found out when I was pregnant that he had a secret porn addiction and masturbated daily behind my back whilst indulging in free online porn videos. He rejects my attempts, I cant touch him at night. When I have an urge I suck it up and get frustrated. I go for months without being satisfied. Yesterday after a dramatic scene, he confessed to me that he always has been a porn addict and that he sincerely seeks help to recover. He claims he does not want to be that way and that he can’t stop without professional help. Today after long research and phone conversations with therapists I came to realize what I feared for a long time. Once an addict always an addict. And he may always relapse to porn. He completely has cut me off his sex life. But the damage is even bigger than just that. I don’t want to have sex with him anymore either because I know that he is damaged. I know the sex we will possibly have will not mean what it should mean that he will always think of porn at the back of his mind. I do love him but I can’t get myself to want him sexually anymore. And my husband is my knight shining armor and I am afraid this means the end for us. It’s like someone who spit in your food. I just can’t have it anymore….My question is do you believe he can fully recover and enjoy a normal healthy sex life with me? And will I be able to doubt and second thought him the whole time???

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My husband was admitted to a rehab facility 60 miles away from me on Friday after walking to his unioon representative and telling them he had a problem. I had no idea but he had been taking xanax that was prescribed by a doctor since august, was taking them before that by getting them off the streets and has been on prescription pain killers (i knew that) for about a year but he runs out about 2 weeks early and gets them off the street. He has had an emtional relationship with another woman for the last 2 months through text messaging… all kinds of stuff is coming out now that he is there. I am going to an al-anon meeting locally on thursday but am having a really hard time finding support for people with family members who are abusing narcotic prescription drugs. Does anyone know of any online resources?? I live in Indiana…

we have a 2.5 year old and she asks me every night to send her daddy in there to tell her good night. THis is so hard… I am lost and dont know what to do. Our christmas tree is up in the attic so someone is supposed to be coming over to get it down but its going to be hard putting it up without him. Thats his favorite part… He will be gone for a month.

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Here’s the scoop. Met, got married. 4 months later he was doing steroids so bad and lying about everything while I was 3 months pregnant so I left him. He ended up back in prison for the 3rd time. I drove to see him, his parents paid my gas money. I divorced him and still went to see him. He got out, we remarried. Two weeks after marriage, he had profiles on the internet about being single, etc. I went to see mom in another town one weekend and came back early for a surprise visit. He was drinking and I had the cops follow me up to a motel. He OD’s on tylenol while drinking and lived through that ordeal. Got out of the hospital, and a year later he has been in hospital twice, rehab once, and making his own beer. This is a very pretigious family and they have lots of money. Courts usually don’t make inmates pay child support but he was ordered $300 a month while incarcerated. Now that he is out, not working, even has a big hidden trust fund, do I need to just divorce or ask him to help?
His parents are great. Its hard to describe them. Wealthy, socialites, picture perfect everything who only helps if I am trying to make it work with their son. Last time I was in court he was in prison. He says now I have no proof of him making money because trust and mutual funds are hidden, his mother tells me we will settle out of court (I brought out the bad side of their son in court last time)and that they are on my side. They only seem to want to help if I am trying to work it out with him. Its a shame because he is a nice looking man. I went to pick him up Friday and bring him here with me and his daughter and he wanted me to stop at the grocery store and he came out with champagne and a case of beer. I took him back home and told his parents and they said that’s what I should have done. His mother is very demanding and has never had to pay daycare, work, and provide for family. She doesn’t understand. I feel good about me taking him back home. I think I will go write a book.

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