Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

because the people I have to give this to dont know me. If you were running this program would you accept me back in? Is there anything I need to fix or is it simply just not good enough? Thanks to all who take the time to read and give me feedback. Ohh and if you dont know anything about this program you can look into it at this site hey it might even be a good idea for someone you know….

http://www.youthbuild.org/site/c.htIRI3P…

My name is Caylee George and I walked out on Youth Build my first day. I have never liked structure, anything with structure I fail. Out of this mistake I have realized, Youth Build has everything I want in my future. I want to be ok with commitment, stop being a quitter, and I want to have an idea. I went into Youth Build without an idea; I need Youth Build to help me figure out what I’m searching for in life because on my own it’s a nearly impossible task. I have never liked to reach for anything I just went along with the flow. When you have no willingness you have no chance. I’m done being stubborn. I’m more than ready and willing to just shut up, sit down, and listen. I will do whatever it takes to make it through and finish my best. This is similar to how it was when I was in rehab I went into it with nothing, I wasn’t ready and I had a bad attitude toward everything and everyone there because I thought my way was fine. But my way is wrong no matter how hard it is for me to admit it, it’s the truth. While I was in rehab a kid gave me advice saying I need to get through this for me and until I could do it for me, do it for my family because any day they could be gone forever and I need to make the best of this and go home and be there for my them, because the next time I see them it could be in a coffin. Once again I didn’t listen, a couple weeks after that the last time I saw my dad was in a coffin. He was on drugs and he was a quitter he hit rock bottom and shot him self. I want to be more than that I want to quit living like him and show my little brothers that you decide the out come of your own life and it doesn’t have to end up like dads. If accepted into Youth Build I would be coming in with a better idea of what I want out of it.
1. I want to be ok with structure, because its what I need.
2. I want to build a relationship with my family epically my brothers because they have enough people that fail them.
3. I want to stop using drugs to calm me down, give me something to do or just make it through the day. Because I don’t want to be dependent on them any more and I want to look and feel as healthy as I did when I was sober.
4. I want to be able to feel good at the end of the day, because at the end of all my days I worry about getting my next high tomorrow and ways to find money for it.
5. I want to have the skills it takes to get through anything in life, because my skills aren’t doing the trick.
6. I want to learn how to let go of the things that have happened to me and forgive the people that let me down because holding these grudges are making me an angry person and I want to feel normal.
7. I want to know what to put here…
I know I have what it takes to make it through I have some rough edges on me that need help. I realize that I can’t force anyone to let me back in all I can do is try. And if I don’t get accepted I have still learned a lesson during this. No body helped me walk out I did it on my own and it’s up to me to fix it. I completely understand what the rules were and they were made very clear to me, I’m asking for one more chance to show you how bad I really want this. I want your help to make a better life for myself as well as my family.
Sincerely,
Caylee George

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Everyone always says AA meetings etc. They mean nothing to me because I don’t believe in God. I was in rehab for 3 months and that is all they preach out of too, is the “big book” AA. It totally turns me off, I drank every weekend on my passes away. I just wonder does anyone know of any way to quit an addiction without hawing to refer to God or a Higher Power or anything? There has to be a way. Help
This is not a religious question, so please if all you have to say is about God or something please refrain. I have nothing against other peoples beliefs, to each their own, I just dont personally believe, and never will so please don’t try to convert me, or call me the devil, or say I’m going to hell. I am very comfortable with my beliefs, and am quite content with them. I am not ignorant on religion either, I have read the bible”s” more than once. I did my research and have chosen not to believe. Thank you.

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because the people I have to give this to dont know me. If you were running this program would you accept me back in? Is there anything I need to fix or is it simply just not good enough? Thanks to all who take the time to read and give me feedback. Ohh and if you dont know anything about this program you can look into it at this site hey it might even be a good idea for someone you know….

http://www.youthbuild.org/site/c.htIRI3PIKoG/b.1223925/k.DF42/Programs.htm

My name is Caylee George and I walked out on Youth Build my first day. I have never liked structure, anything with structure I fail. Out of this mistake I have realized, Youth Build has everything I want in my future. I want to be ok with commitment, stop being a quitter, and I want to have an idea. I went into Youth Build without an idea; I need Youth Build to help me figure out what I’m searching for in life because on my own it’s a nearly impossible task. I have never liked to reach for anything I just went along with the flow. When you have no willingness you have no chance. I’m done being stubborn. I’m more than ready and willing to just shut up, sit down, and listen. I will do whatever it takes to make it through and finish my best. This is similar to how it was when I was in rehab I went into it with nothing, I wasn’t ready and I had a bad attitude toward everything and everyone there because I thought my way was fine. But my way is wrong no matter how hard it is for me to admit it, it’s the truth. While I was in rehab a kid gave me advice saying I need to get through this for me and until I could do it for me, do it for my family because any day they could be gone forever and I need to make the best of this and go home and be there for my them, because the next time I see them it could be in a coffin. Once again I didn’t listen, a couple weeks after that the last time I saw my dad was in a coffin. He was on drugs and he was a quitter he hit rock bottom and shot him self. I want to be more than that I want to quit living like him and show my little brothers that you decide the out come of your own life and it doesn’t have to end up like dads. If accepted into Youth Build I would be coming in with a better idea of what I want out of it.
1.I want to be ok with structure, because its what I need.
2.I want to build a relationship with my family epically my brothers because they have enough people that fail them.
3.I want to stop using drugs to calm me down, give me something to do or just make it through the day. Because I don’t want to be dependent on them any more and I want to look and feel as healthy as I did when I was sober.
4.I want to be able to feel good at the end of the day, because at the end of all my days I worry about getting my next high tomorrow and ways to find money for it.
5.I want to have the skills it takes to get through anything in life, because my skills aren’t doing the trick.
6.I want to learn how to let go of the things that have happened to me and forgive the people that let me down because holding these grudges are making me an angry person and I want to feel normal.
7.I want to know what to put here…
I know I have what it takes to make it through I have some rough edges on me that need help. I realize that I can’t force anyone to let me back in all I can do is try. And if I don’t get accepted I have still learned a lesson during this. No body helped me walk out I did it on my own and it’s up to me to fix it. I completely understand what the rules were and they were made very clear to me, I’m asking for one more chance to show you how bad I really want this. I want your help to make a better life for myself as well as my family.
Sincerely,
Caylee George
Thanks for the advice and a lot of…lol. Not a bad thing at all. They do know why I wrote the letter though. They told me they want to know why I want it more than I need it. They also waned me to put what I want to get out of it because it was to give them a sence that i had and “idea” of what I want in life. They also know in the beggining im not going to have much to offer them, it more of what they have to offer me. People for 17-24 join the program so they can help them be better citizens in there community. Most reasons people joins is legal issues, drugs, and school drops outs.

But still thank you very much you gave me some very useful advice that i am going to use.

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When I was 15 I had this friend, she was my best friend. We we’re so close, we told each other everything. We literally fell in love with each other, or that’s what we thought it was. At the time I had been molested by her grandfather and when I told her she stood by me. She listened to me, cried with me, and protected me. She helped me tell my parents, when I started cutting myself and ran away she found me and sat with me; she walked with me in the rain. She gave me everything.

When I turned 16 she had to go to rehab, for drug addiction. I started becoming numb and then I joined in with the popular girls, I became a robot. When she returned I didn’t want to give up my position as popular girl b/c it was something I always dreamt of being. I cut off all contact with her; many of the girls in my group teased her, so did I. I teased her about all the things she told me all her inner secrets. Then near my 17th birthday she just left one day, she ran away. Inside it hurt me, but outside I felt like I finally belonged somewhere.

It’s been ten years since we where best friends, I think about her all the time still. I wrote a book about my life and what I went through with the molestation. However b/c she is mentioned in the book I need her to sign a sheet. I saw her the other day; she looks so different but so much the same. She’s become so skinny and she looks ragged. I want to approach her and thank her for all she’s done for me, but I am so scared. She’s the reason I am happy today not the other girls and I want to tell her that and re-establish contact, but I don’t know if she wants to see me again. What do I do?

Only mature answers please

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First off i want to thank anyone who reads this and gives me some advice. I’m having an extremely tough time with this, its starting to get the best of me and make me feel like i don’t even want to live anymore.
Anyways, my dad is really tough acting towards me by the way he talks to me and all that. He says all the time i need to be reminded of my F**K ups everyday and how i f**ked everything i’ve ever done up and that’s all i’m gonna continue to do. That i’m never gonna make anything out of myself. There’s so much more he says to me that really brings me down, but i don’t want to bore you all with all that, he just basically makes me feel like committing suicide about everyday.
Now with the big part….I am not afraid to admit i have a problem now. I became addicted to pain pills. I’m 26 now and i became addicted probably around the age of 20 or so. I really want to get help, i want to quit this for good and never look back at it. I’m so serious about quitting, its something i really want…But i dont know what to do. I have a friend who is 30 and he went thru the same thing i did with the addiction. He went to the Dr. a while back and got on suboxone and is now doing wonderful, he’s really came a long way with it. And that’s what i want to do, so last night i tried to talk to my dad and asked him to please have an open mind and not put me down and please just listen. Well i told him about my addiction and how bad i wanted help cause i wanted to quit and try to go back to the person i know i am that i once was before all this. And then he started saying i wasn’t nothing but a dopehead and all i want to do is go take a bunch of other pills to get off pills and get addicted to them. He said if i was a man that i could do it without the help, that all i might do is sweat a lil bit for a few days then i’ll be fine, that i’m just trying to get someone to feel sorry for me. See, my car is not working right now. So i don’t have a vehicle at the moment. He said too last night that i’m probably just doing this so he’ll fix my car because if i try to go get help then i’ll be whining about not having a car and not being able to go to the dr. He said too that all i’ll be doing then is trying to go out and hang out with my friends all the time when i need to be sitting my a** here and not leaving the house. He says me getting help is just money wasted, and that i’m just trying to get extra money out of him and just blow more of his money for nothing.

I just dont know what to do now. I want to stop all this sooo bad, i’m ready to quit all this, its gotten to the point where its tore me all to pieces. I’ve never wanted to stop something so bad in my life as i do this. But i dont know where to turn now because of the way he’s made me feel and the things he’s said to me. If i don’t get help i’m just gonna get worse and worse taking stuff. But i’m so serious about quitting now and never taking another one. Can anyone please give me some good advice on what to do and how to approach this? I feel so lost and lonely and like i have no where or no one to turn to. If i’m gonna beat this addiction, its gonna be hard to do alone. I’m obviously not gonna have his support. He just wants to keep putting me down and making me feel terrible all the time.
I dont think he would care at all, he offered to come in and sit down and talk to my dad about all this but i just know how my dad is…..I dont know how i’m gonna come up with the money either, the first office visit is $300…..I just wish i could get my dad to lay off me and quit talking to me like i’m some piece of s***. It honestly just hurts so bad, to have him do me this way.

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I am 16. Firstly, i had wine bottle away in guitar case in closet, grandmother took guitar case becuase she needed to bring it to the guitar shop to take my guitar home. the wine bottle was EMPTY, i obtained it from my house, it was halffull. not intended to drink, as i have a history of alcoholism in my family. intended instead to use for a watercolor painting, may sound farfetched however i had planned to utilize mirrors to reflect the image of the wine bottle onto four mirrors and photograph it. i had poured the wineinto bottles the night before as to not stain the sink, and later put themin my drawers intending to dispose of them. i had put the empty wine bottle in my guitar case to hide it, as a site of a wine bottle in my room wouldve brought suspicions of alcoholism. i do not drink, however my parents and whoever else would be absolutely ashamed of me if found. i told my grandma this story and though she says she believes me, continually “hints” that she doesn’t. she vows not to tell my mother. however it is killing me. i feel like i have disappointed my grandmother, that she believes i did drink the bottle of wine by myself. i feel low, like the only reason she is telling me that she believes me is because i am so unhappy already, and doesn’t want me to sink into a deeper hole if she scolds me for drinking. i do not drink, i cannot risk such behavior with such alcoholism in my family. i feel like my relationship with my grandma got weaker, i feel ashamed, and depressed. our relationshp i hold very dear. i do not know what to do, i cant find the strength to stand up. i can sorry this is so incoherent.
i disposed of the bottles in my drawer in a public trashcan. i was paranoid of the smell. i thought i inclued that……is there anyway to edit my question? i really don’t appreciate people replying to this with very apparent doubt and very nonapparent breadth to their answer. why would i lie on yahoo answers? do i have anythign to hide? you are all strangers. there is no need for me to lie.

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I used to tkae alot of pills when i was younger when out partying,sniff some coke and smoke large amounts of weed. I went through a very low depressive stage. I then met a great guy who took my mind off it all completely,for about 10 months i touched nothing and then fell back into a small circle i used to go out with… For about 4 months now i have been sniffing coke behind my partners back, and the guilt is killing me, my partner works nights so i am often left alone at home, so i then meet somebody to do a bit of coke with, at the time it seems a great idea, a small buzz, but then once i have done it, i feel like my old depressed self again, and my partner doesnt deserve to be lied to, i would love to come clean, but i am embarresed of being seen as weak, as my partner is so strong. I am a very easily led person… and need alot of help… so please any suggestions you can give will help… feel free to let rip at me because, i know what i am doing is wrong, but the drugs just seem to pull me.. I cant go to rehab, encase i loose my job, i have a good job and very career minded… its like im living a secret life????

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Everyone always says AA meetings etc. They mean nothing to me because I don’t believe in God. I was in rehab for 3 months and that is all they preach out of too, is the “big book” AA. It totally turns me off, I drank every weekend on my passes away. I just wonder does anyone know of any way to quit an addiction without hawing to refer to God or a Higher Power or anything? There has to be a way. Help
This is not a religious question, so please if all you have to say is about God or something please refrain. I have nothing against other peoples beliefs, to each their own, I just dont personally believe, and never will so please don’t try to convert me, or call me the devil, or say I’m going to hell. I am very comfortable with my beliefs, and am quite content with them. I am not ignorant on religion either, I have read the bible”s” more than once. I did my research and have chosen not to believe. Thank you.

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I’m not going to brag about it, and i’m not going to milk it for all I think it’s worth, but my life has never been simple and it’s never been easy. My Dad is an alcoholic ex professional cyclist. He cheated on my Mum more times then I can remember but I do know that one time he made me meet one of these women and keep it a secret from Mum. When Mum found out I caught him trying to drink some oil and all I can remember from then on is me screaming and running down the stairs like a mad child.
Last year Mum and Dad finally split up, however Dad tried to kill himself and then I came home from school one day and found a suicide letter from Mum. The police found her before she could do anything and she swore to me that she hadn’t planned to try anything but later on that day in Dads car he put a voicemail from her on the bluetooth and it was her saying goodbye to him.
I’ve never told Mum I heard that voicemail and i’ve never thought about it enough to understand how I feel about the whole thing.

One year on and my Grandad’s died of cancer, my Dad has found a new woman at his local AA and did a runner out of rehab because he couldn’t hack it.

Now i’m following in his footsteps and have taken up cycling, its a great way to get out my anger and I love reading Dads old training diaries and looking at newsclippings of him. I was involved in a hit and run earlier this winter and hit my head pretty rough.

But I don’t know how i’m feeling, I like to be alone alot and my obsession over my eating is unbelievably powerful right now.
Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to get knocked off and die, I wonder who would turn up at my funeral and I wonder what people would say.
I bargin with god and tell him to give me cancer and spare my Mother and everyone else I know.
I tell myself I can ride however the hell I like because it’s not like I’ve got anything to live for.
I turn my friends down because I like to be on my own.

WHAT IS WRONG.

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I have been a self harmer for several years (7) and I have been forced to quit. It may sound absurd, but my mother checks my wrists every day and constantly snoops in my room for stuff.
The trouble is, self harming is an addiction, and I feel I am addicted.
I have found it easier to quit smoking, drinking and taking drugs.
This is the longest I have gone without it (4 months), and I honestly feel I cannot cope anymore without it.
I am not looking for an answer telling me about places I can hide my scars, should I continue. I want to get better, I just don’t feel capable without something. If anyone knows any methods that help (distractions and such) then please reply.
I’m actually getting desperate.
Thanks

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