Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

when i ask a few weeks out about making a date, the answer is an enthusiastic “yes!”

but a week out he’s never quite sure if he’ll be there. maybe its that his stomach hurts, or maybe its that he has to do a couple things around his place, but there is always this doubt that is instilled. consistently. every week.

but then he winds up spending the time with me anyways.

i have tried to be joking about it,
i have tried just making plans without him
i have tried to set deadlines.

but it is all just really annoying. and even worse than that, my last relationship failed because of my partner’s secret sexual addiction. so i have a niggling fear whenever someone is unable to be accountable in this way.

i know breaking plans is an intimacy issue, to maintain distance. i know it is probably a control thing too. and it has to do with a lack of maturity.

i want to know, what is the way to behavior modify these actions???
i am not just looking for advice. i want to know how to behavior modify, as in:
stop asking about plans
don’t be available for specific amount of time
break plans he wants to make
stuff like that

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me and my ex were extremely close.. he was my best friend and boyfriend. we were both pot heads… he had gone to rehab 6 months ago for this addiction.. he came home from rehab, ended up calling me saying he needed to tell me something. when i saw him he revealed his secret and came out of the closet. i was IN LOVE with him and most definitely thought we would get married. we were making out every second of our lives and i was partially confused and unsure how he could fake it so well he was obviously miserable being “another person” especially with the amount of pot he smoked wanting to numb the feeling. everyone would tell me they thought he was gay by the way he talked sometimes but i looked passed it because i thought he was hysterical and that’s one of the BIGGEST things that attracted me to him. i wasn’t so much hurt when he told me and i was very accepting because i am happy that he is happy being himself. (when you love someone you want the best for them) but i still have some feelings (as in being in a relationship) and will it be possible to get over these feelings? we are best friends and i don’t want to ruin it. i don’t care about anyone nearly as much as i care for him. we both love each other so much and we are a great support especially since we are both trying to stay clean from pot now. This is kind of unexpected since i was basically played and i just want to have a successful relationship with him and i don’t want to lose him because of the situation. my basic question is does anyone have advice on how i can continue talking to him but get over the fact that i cant be with him anymore? we don’t want to lose each other we both confessed that we love each other and will be best friends until we die
ahaahah you know nothing about weed if you think its not addiciting you probably smoke little to nothing….

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He got kicked out of his previous place because of his drug use and went into rehab. He comes from a good family but circumstances dictated that he could not move in with any of them, they have been struggling with his addiciton for years and when we got together I knew he was on drugs but like most stupid women thought if he had a good woman and a good stable relationship that he would change ( I know what your going to say) and after he got out of rehab this last time he swore to everyone that he would stay clean (and I should know an addict never changes). So since he had no place to go I stupidly let him move in with me, now he is back on his drug of choice and I told him in no uncertain terms it was over and i wanted him out, unfortunately he is not willing to leave he gives me a little money every week to help with the bills and says I can’t get rid of him because he pays “rent” and helps with the food bill, my 17 year old daughter is back at home living with me after going to school out of the state for a year and I do not want her exposed to this I told him that I refuse to continue this relationship and he is doing what addicts do telling me exactly what I want to hear that he is going to stop he loves me etc etc. the reason I know the characteristics is because my sister went through this with her drug addicted husband and it took her years until he found another victim to get him to leave. I want him out now and I don’t know how to do it, I know he doesnt make alot of money and he has no place to go but I feel that he is not my problem he has a family and because they are tired of dealing with his problems they think they found him a place to stay because I let him and is now my problem. A problem I really don’t want or need in my life. Any advise that anyone can give me to get him out without the fear of him hurting me, my home, my child, or my animals will be greatly appreciated.

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We have been dating for 3 months now.. I’m 2 months pregnant! My boyfriend Shawn wanted kids before.. but now..he says he dont want any.. I been keeping this a secret, but I think I should tell him now.. He is 27 and I’m 26.. I don’t know if I should get a abortion, consider adoption, or keep the baby.. Help me!! I might be pregnant with 3 kids!! He won’t take care of the babies.. I know he won’t… His dream to become CEO came true! He won’t have no time to take care of his kids.. I’m actually crying right now!! I have to take care of my niece and nephew because my sister is in rehab and just had a baby but dont know who the father is.. I don’t want to end up like that!! HELP ME!! please..
No I meant I might have 3!! I DONT KNOW!! HELP ME!!
But what if he dont take care of the kids!! WHAT TO DO!?!?

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