Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

Hello. My uncle had lived much of his life hiding that he had problems drinking. However, for the past about 3 years, my uncle has developed yellow eyes, and his body is swollen. He is in his 40′s and he cannot walk normally. He definitley cannot run, but basically his body is swollen all around and he just cant really be walking or doing physical movements good. and remember his eyes are yellow…well sometimes they look like they are kind of glowing, but they just dont look normal. Is this bad, is he going to die, and can he become very healthy like he once was and live long if he stops? he lies and says he doesnt drink by the way. hes a good liar now as they usually become i hear

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My mom is in trouble….
She’s what you may call an alcoholic in hiding. She insists that she doesn’t drink at all, yet hides liquor bottles all over the house and is rarely sober.
It’s destroyed my parents marriage because my father tried to help her and didn’t succeed… he finally got so disgusted with her that he couldn’t deal with it anymore.
I thought I had perfectly normal parents until I found out a year ago that my father had split with my mom and he finally told me why.
Since then, my mom has moved into an apartment closer to me – to help me with my household and to be there for me. Yet it feels like everything is getting worse.
What we hoped could be a new start for her is turning into a downward spiral. She’s drunk all the time, yet insists she doesn’t drink. I’m always worried and her presence is destroying my own relationship because my boyfriend cannot deal with the situation.
I love my mom dearly – she’s my best friend.
How do I handle this situation the best?

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I am 2 1/2 years into my second marriage. My first husband was a cheater/liar and basically a dead beat. I am a Christian woman with a great profession and family. After finding out my husband is an alcoholic (27 years old with early cirrohsis) and verbally abusive, we went through the whole gammit of getting him help until he finally had to leave our home (I have 7yr old and 9 month old daughters), he drank again. I was going to file for legal sep. but instead felt that another shot a rehab may just work. He had an emotional affair 8 months into our marriage (severe!!!), which would have become physical if I hadn’t found out. There have been trust issues ever since due to the hiding of alocohol and related lies. He went into rehab 4 weeks ago and I just found out that he cheated on me in rehab! How Jerry Springer can this get??? He says it was only kissing, but I believe nothing. He is a liar. What do I do? His parents are trying to say it’s cuz of the “disease”. I say B.S.
I agree that I wasn’t looking to God BEFORE I met my husband. He became a Christian before we got married but never truly committed his life to Him. It appears committment is a real problem for him, huh! I know that if I leave him, I will make it. I just can’t imagine going through another divorce–and looking in my 7 year-old’s eyes when I would have to tell her. What really sucks is that I will be the one with the “stigma” of being divorced twice, when I am not the cause of them. It’s not like I can wear a sign that says, “I was a sucker for the smooth-talking con-artists.” This is just so incredibly heart-breaking because my first instinct is always to forgive. I just can’t ever see trusting him.
Wow, I can see that you’ve been hurt, as well. I do want to thank you for your (brutal) honesty and candor. I apprec everything you said wanted to reply. Although it may appear that being a Christian has kept me in this relationship, I honestly just think it’s who I am and that I — shoot me–love the guy. My pastor, who is an incredible person and is always there for my family and me, actually told me to leave him, too. Even though my he loves my husband and actually married us, he knows that I was duped (as was he). I actually believe my husband may be an alcoholic AND a SOCIOPATH! Lucky me for finding and marrying TWO men with that issue, plus a horrible lack of character. I was never planning on just letting him move right back in, and have known that divorce is the probable, if not inevitable, path. It just hurts so much that I can barely breathe sometimes. As my pastor said, I don’t know if I still love him that much or hate the prospect of ANOTHER divorce.
The thought of going through that again–with a 10 month-old on top of it–is killing me. I still have post-partum!!!
Believe me, I have no problem with anger or expressing it–the messages to him and the other woman are prime examples of that. It’s just that being angry, although it feels good for the moment, doesn’t seem to help the pain all that much. I am still looking at an uncertain future, although it can’t possibly get worse than right now…but what if, and this is a big one, what if he changed??? It’s so improbable that I can barely hold in my chuckle as I type it. I just wish there was a chance for that to happen…
I believe that his actions were of his own choosing and will NEVER excuse them. I hate that he’ll only tell me part of the truth so he can try to keep his foot in the door (I only kissed her, etc.)…it is such BS that his parents believe all of it. But, as you or another person stated, why wouldn’t they???
They’ve only been there to contribute to him being a selfish POS. His dad is seriously one of the biggest enablers I’ve ever laid eyes on…one time he actually said to me, when referencing his son’s purchases out by his house, that “people buy things other than liquor at liquor stores”!!! I told him that ALCOHOLICS do NOT go to a liquor store to buy COMBOS!!!!! His parents are not Christians, nor do they profess to be. They really don’t have very high morals in his family at all…they ALL lie–even about stupid things!!! It blows my mind.
Also, I have to add that the woman he cheated with IS a real skank…she has 6 kids, is about 12 years older than my husband and is in REHAB — great catch, ya know??? I just figure that he will have to remember her for the rest of his life and think that she is the reason our marriage ended…even though we all know the truth: that he was incapable of committment and if it wasn’t her it would have been someone else.
If you don’t mind me getting more personal, did your husband die due to his alcoholism? I’m just wondering, because I do believe, as you stated, that my husband will die young if he doesn’t stick to sobriety. Not to self-inflate but without me in his life, I really don’t see that happening.

I think that I can use my church and God to help me get through this and also ask my pastor if there’s a good attorney in our congregation who would give me a deal on a divorce : ).

Thanks for your prayers…baby’s crying.
I love my life!

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I’ve being married for 16 years and my husband drinking got worse. He drinks every night to the point that he doesn’t remember our conversation next day, lies about his drinking, hides the bottles that he is drinking, every conversation turns into a argument, bad influence for my son, I do not feel safe with him…etc. I tried everything to help him: assisted to AA meetings, read Alanon books, asked his family for help, went to the psychologist, prayed, asked people to pray for my relationship, talked to him, keep that house free of possible alcohol temptations, cried, beg him to stop, explained what his drinking is doing to our family, called the police asked to help me and do an drinking test…the police couldn’t help because drinking at home is not a crime, unless he is disturbing the community.
I’ve learned that smoking pot is a crime and they can show up at home and do something… but drinking is not a crime. And that is my point of my request, in reality SPOUSE THAT DRINK TOO MUCH AT HOME ARE DISTROYING THEIR FAMILY is like killing in a passive way.
I know if you are in this situation, you feel like me.
I want to bring this matter to the authorities for their support. “Alcoholic parent living with their children should be a persecuted as drug abuse do”
If you agree with me please respond with a “Yes”
There is more to this, besides drinking smoke pot, takes sleeping pills and other pain killer, sometimes he chews tobacco and all of the above in a day.

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Look at this:
Writing in the journal Pediatrics, the CDC team said they analyzed data from 15,214 high-school students (aged 14 to 18) who completed the 2003 Youth Risk Behavior Survey.

They found that 45 percent of the students admitted having drunk alcohol in the past month. Of these, 64 percent were binge-drinkers.

And the binge drinkers were not simply experimenting — 69 percent reported having done so more than once in the past 30 days.

Teen drinkers in general were more than twice as likely to be sexually active as non-drinkers, the researchers found.
here is one of the sources:http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20070102/hl_nm/teens_drinking_dc

So why wast time (and our tax money) arresting them and hiding marijuana from them, when we have a drug that is hurting some of the teens who abuse it?

I sense a lack of parenting. People are so close minded nowadays.

Aaron

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Ok, I think I might have a problem.
Like I drink simply just to get drunk and I hide liquor in my room just so my family won’t see it and comment on it. And I tend to drink when I’m really sad and lonely…

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My boyfriend has a serious drinking problem, but manages to hide it from everyone and he is very functional. Works for the railroad x 35 yrs, owns his own home, friendly to everyone. No outward signs. His family all acted so surprised when he nearly died from drinking about 3 yrs ago. The doctor asked if he drank and no one knew he did or would admit how serious it was. When I asked him if his dad drank when he was growing up, he denied it 3 yrs ago.
He told me about a month ago,in a moment of drunkeness, his grandpartents had to drive searching for his dad from bar to bar because he had no drivers license and his mom could not find him. She had a bunch of kids at home and he was the 2nd oldest.
Now, I think he has passed it down, and his son has lost his drivers license and gets so drunk he becomes mentally unstable and starts talking crazy. He is 28 and still lives at home and cannot get out on his own because he drinks so much.
Do you think its hereditary?

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I’m young, 22, and definitely an alcoholic. I drink every day, often throughout the day, and hide booze all over my room. Please don’t be harsh on me- I don’t feel ready to join AA. Showing up at a meeting and not knowing what to do feels too scary right now. I was wondering if anyone knew of any online communities where I could chat with other alcoholics and receive support and encouragement without having to meet in real life.

Again, please don’t make mean or condescending comments. I am seriously desperate and need only constructive help.

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My 66 year old father recently moved to my state to be closer to my daughter since he missed out on the first 7 years of her life. So he has been staying at my place and my brother’s place – going back and forth. My brother and I have discovered he has a drinking problem. Hiding alcohol, sneaking it…all that. I told him I cannot have that in our home. He spends a lot of time with her and she loves him very much. Am I justified in refusing to let hm stay here as long as he is drinking? He is totally in denial and says he doesn’t have a problem.

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I just took my fiance into a treatment center today to get an assessment. They totally excluded me and wouldn’t tell me anything about the treatment or anything. But I feel like I should be part of his recovery process and treatment. I realize the assessment is confidential but as far as the treatment goes I feel like I should be involved… I am considering going to see a therapist myself to try to help me but what do you suggest?

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