
I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He is everthing you could ask for in a guy,he’s got a good heart, but he is an alcoholic, the late nights kinda type. He is also on a depression medicine.I knew when we first start dating he liked to drink, but i just didnt know the amount. Last year he hit his rock bottom, and went to rehab but only for 7 days, after that he did his outpatient meetings. Me and his family also attented meetings to gain better understanding of his disease. But he never did go to any AA meetings, didnt read his books.
He was sober for 8 months, and he is drinking again, he is 25 years old.I am from a different country, and Im 20 years old.My family has left the country about a year ago. And i decided to stay here with him and start a life. So therefore he is the only family i got in the states now. But everything seems to be going down the hill. Our relationship has completely fallen apart. I see no effort my bf making to be sober again, alcohol is number one again and so are his alcoholic friends. Theres been times when he would be gone for 3 days, no calls , just ignoring and pushing me away so he can drink. There are days when we get along and are happy but its only few out of the week. Complete change of a person. I tried to leave him couple months ago, due to his no effort to get better, but he promised, and convinced me to stay. He made so many promises how im all he needs, not the alcohol, so he propsed and i said yes.Knowing no one can help him but himself.
But few weeks after, he was back to drinking again. After i made it clear to him that i cant see him like this anymore. It broke me apart knowing after he proposed he was back to it again, I have a pretty good knowlage about this disease, and i know what his steps should be, but it seems like he’s just lost and everytime i try to pull away, it is the same cycle of how he will change. I love and care about him, but our relationship has been filled with anger, secrets, lack of communication, the intimmate part is way gone, we argue all the time . I feel all alone, my father was an alcoholic it has always followed me, so how can i marry an alcoholic thats not even willing.. i tried to be there for him, but something always seems to go wrong,,so the wedding we had planned its been canceled, and it completaly broke me,im not happy, i lost all hope and faith , crying doesnt help anymore..but how many chances can u give? I just know what we used to be.”happy”..but this has changed me as a person, and i know i will never look at alcohol the same way.
He doesnt take me seriously up to the point, when i want to leave him, thats when he tries for few weeks, to keep me here. I am emotionaly draiend, dont really have anyone to go to but his family, because he doesnt want my friends to know.about his addiction.thats all i think about, and i know deep down i should leave him.But i know who he can be , but the alcohol is destroying his life. I am 20 years old, didnt experience much yet, i really think the best thing would be for me to leave and heal, or is this what i should settle for? Just because of love? Please what do yall think?
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