Confidential Drug Rehabilitation

‘Savior of the Big 12:’ How Dan Beebe did it
ASSOCIATED PRESS
Read more on Lubbock Avalanche-Journal

Meet ‘The savior of the Big 12’—and how he did it
A few days after the Big 12 was preserved, commissioner Dan Beebe brought together the athletic directors of the 10 remaining schools. There were lots of things to figure out.
Read more on 11 News Houston

Dan Beebe — the savior of the Big 12 Conference
A few days after the Big 12 was preserved, commissioner Dan Beebe brought together the athletic directors of the 10 remaining schools. There were things to figure out, and some healing to do. Egos had been bruised, relationships strained in the whirlwind of a week since Colorado went to the Pac-10, Nebraska to the Big Ten and the conference’s fate swung on Texas’ decision to stay put.
Read more on The Oklahoma Daily

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Big 12 Commissioner Dan Beebe shows perseverance pays
IRVING, Texas — A few days after the Big 12 Conference was preserved, commissioner Dan Beebe brought together the athletic directors of the 10 remaining schools. There were lots of things to figure out. There also was some healing to do. Egos had been bruised, relationships strained in the whirlwind of a week since Colorado went to the Pac-10, Nebraska to the Big Ten and this conference’s fate …
Read more on Columbia Missourian

Happenings
MONDAY, JULY 26
Read more on The Times Herald

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I drink one bottle of wine per night. I get drunk, but not completely wasted. I’ve retired from the socal scene becaue it was no longer safe — I would come to in unknown places, do things that I wouldn’t normally do, lose my shoes, never remember what happened. So now I drink a bottle of wine, pretty much alone since no one will let me drink around them. I have to hide it, which is weird I know, but necessary. I’m careful about it. But I can’t stop so I only buy one botltle? AA is strange and full of lying people. The question is — drinking one bottle a night — is this alcoholism? Thx.

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My biological father is an alcoholic way back before i was born. My mom couldn’t handle his abusive behavior that she left us when i was 6 & went to another country.My grandma took care of me while my grandfather supported us financially. My dad didn’t finish high school & was more interested in hanging out with his alcoholic friends.He has been jobless ever since & doesn’t care about working to earn a living since he was dependent on my grandfather. Since i was a child, i live in guilt, shame, anger & fear bec. everytime he comes home drunk, he is a loudmouth, angry & wouldn’t care less if the stereo’s speakers was blasting so loud late at night in our apartment that neighbors complain about how nuisance we are.I feel so much shame as i hid in my room crying with much hurt & pain waiting for the nightmare to end. I had low self-esteem.I get so angry at him that in my mind i wanted him to die or I would think of killing myselfThings became more difficult for me when my grandmother had a stroke & Alzheimer’s that I could no longer lean on her anymore for comfort.For years, the nightmare brought by my father continued & so is my darkest moments of despair as I try to focus on my studies while hiding in my room bearing the hurt & shame.Yes there are normal days when he is sober but when he is drunk & rowdy again, it seems that the bright & sunny world I once knew suddenly turn stormy as hell for me.I feel I wanna run away, scream, cry & shout but nobody listens & understands. By God’s grace I was able to finish Business Administration in College.I am 21 now but my dad still has his habit. He tends to quit for a few days or weeks but then he goes back to drinking again esp. when he gets to save money that my well-off aunt gives him allowance daily out of sympathy.My aunt takes care of the utilities since my grandmother, their mother, lives together with us in the apartment. I took the graveyard shift cashier job in an Internet café that my aunt owns as a way of escape & avoid experiencing the trauma to avoid my father’s drunkenness as much as possible. But fate seems to be playing at me bec. my dad sometimes is drunk early in the morning or in the afternoon & it leaves me so bitter & angry again towards him, others around me & myself. I get so angry again that I swear & cursed my own father. As a Christian, this really saddens me & is so hard for me to try to live a life without anger & hate when life itself forces me to do so. I feel so alone & dejected. I never have a boyfriend maybe bec. I don’t seem to trust men or have not found yet found someone who would be serious & accept my family’s situation. I still pray that one day my dad would finally finally quit drinking & be a real father to me. In our Asian country, I don’t know yet if we have support groups like Al-Anon. Right now, I am dying to settle a normal life for awhile but I am still anxious at the moment bec. I still can’t find a decent job once I quit the cashier job. And if I get a new daytime job, I dreaded the thought if I have to live again the nightmare when my dad gets hooked to drinking again in the evenings. I am so sick & tired of living this way.In our culture is really different bec. children are still responsible for their parents even when they are beyond 18 years of age. But now I plan to rent a place of my own so I could have a peaceful place to run to when I come home and find him drunk again. I think I couldn’t bear any longer like before. I had enough of the trauma since I was a kid. Am I being selfish if I will start to live on my own and try hard to escape from home when he gets drunk? But my grandmother is still living in our apartment and I don’t want to leave her when I know she has short time left with us. But I am really affected by my dad’s alcoholism. I tried to advise him but the advise just feel on deaf ears. I must admit we don’t talk so much at all and I am not open to him bec. it’s hard to establish a close relationship with him bec. he tends to easily misinterpret and get angry at things bec. a dominant person he is. I am anxious also since I will be the one to take care of my father’s allowance bec. my aunt made a deal that she will quit giving help to my dad if I quit working at the café.That would mean it will be hard to save or there won’t enough left for me to save and being financially stable on my own feels completely out of reach for me. Please I need some advise ,I am really confuse.

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Everyone always says AA meetings etc. They mean nothing to me because I don’t believe in God. I was in rehab for 3 months and that is all they preach out of too, is the “big book” AA. It totally turns me off, I drank every weekend on my passes away. I just wonder does anyone know of any way to quit an addiction without hawing to refer to God or a Higher Power or anything? There has to be a way. Help
This is not a religious question, so please if all you have to say is about God or something please refrain. I have nothing against other peoples beliefs, to each their own, I just dont personally believe, and never will so please don’t try to convert me, or call me the devil, or say I’m going to hell. I am very comfortable with my beliefs, and am quite content with them. I am not ignorant on religion either, I have read the bible”s” more than once. I did my research and have chosen not to believe. Thank you.

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I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for almost 2 years. He is everthing you could ask for in a guy,he’s got a good heart, but he is an alcoholic, the late nights kinda type. He is also on a depression medicine.I knew when we first start dating he liked to drink, but i just didnt know the amount. Last year he hit his rock bottom, and went to rehab but only for 7 days, after that he did his outpatient meetings. Me and his family also attented meetings to gain better understanding of his disease. But he never did go to any AA meetings, didnt read his books.

He was sober for 8 months, and he is drinking again, he is 25 years old.I am from a different country, and Im 20 years old.My family has left the country about a year ago. And i decided to stay here with him and start a life. So therefore he is the only family i got in the states now. But everything seems to be going down the hill. Our relationship has completely fallen apart. I see no effort my bf making to be sober again, alcohol is number one again and so are his alcoholic friends. Theres been times when he would be gone for 3 days, no calls , just ignoring and pushing me away so he can drink. There are days when we get along and are happy but its only few out of the week. Complete change of a person. I tried to leave him couple months ago, due to his no effort to get better, but he promised, and convinced me to stay. He made so many promises how im all he needs, not the alcohol, so he propsed and i said yes.Knowing no one can help him but himself.

But few weeks after, he was back to drinking again. After i made it clear to him that i cant see him like this anymore. It broke me apart knowing after he proposed he was back to it again, I have a pretty good knowlage about this disease, and i know what his steps should be, but it seems like he’s just lost and everytime i try to pull away, it is the same cycle of how he will change. I love and care about him, but our relationship has been filled with anger, secrets, lack of communication, the intimmate part is way gone, we argue all the time . I feel all alone, my father was an alcoholic it has always followed me, so how can i marry an alcoholic thats not even willing.. i tried to be there for him, but something always seems to go wrong,,so the wedding we had planned its been canceled, and it completaly broke me,im not happy, i lost all hope and faith , crying doesnt help anymore..but how many chances can u give? I just know what we used to be.”happy”..but this has changed me as a person, and i know i will never look at alcohol the same way.

He doesnt take me seriously up to the point, when i want to leave him, thats when he tries for few weeks, to keep me here. I am emotionaly draiend, dont really have anyone to go to but his family, because he doesnt want my friends to know.about his addiction.thats all i think about, and i know deep down i should leave him.But i know who he can be , but the alcohol is destroying his life. I am 20 years old, didnt experience much yet, i really think the best thing would be for me to leave and heal, or is this what i should settle for? Just because of love? Please what do yall think?

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I feel bad about putting all this out there, but I don’t know where else to turn. My mother is an alcoholic and has been for all my life–and majority of her own. I’ve heard a lot of stories that make me feel ashamed and embarrassed about how she was before I was born. She’d party a lot and she’d drink until she passed out, her ‘friends’ would take turns having sex with her and she would never know it. She drank while she was pregnant with me–and luckily, I don’t have any defects. She’s a good mom, does what any mother would for her kid and makes sure she goes to work but she still drinks.

I have very vague memories as a child of how I’d cry over my mom thinking she was dead any time I saw her sleeping longer than I thought normal–she was difficult to wake up. As I grew up, I realized that she wasn’t just sleeping, she ‘blacked out.’ I learned more about it and was able to tell that she was drunk. She’s a mean drunk.

She’ll start arguments, ridicule you over things that don’t make sense, call you names, and will even hit/shove you and she’ll deny it all in the end, wake up the next day and not remember it. She drinks before and after she goes to work, she tries to look like she doesn’t drink or smoke, but she’s not fooling anyone. She lost her sense of smell and taste from smoking.

During my childhood, I lived with my grandmother and by the time I was 12, my grandma told my mom she had to get out by the end of the month, but leave me behind–which was what I wanted. My grandma died not too long after she said that, so I was stuck with her regardless. So by 13-15, I had to live with her alone and she became more violent and drank constantly still. She hides boxes of wine under her bed, stashes beer cans, and keeps the taps like its a bottle cap collection. I moved out and went to live with my dad at 15 strictly because of her alcoholism, and (I’m 17 now)–whenever I come over to visit for the weekend, she still gets drunk.

She’ll refill her glass every time it gets low on wine or beer, making it look like she’s only had the one the entire time. She tries to hide it, but she doesn’t have a problem nor does she care to fix her habits. I’m really sorry that I made the detail a little too long or that it’s a ‘life story’ I don’t mean it to be–but I don’t know how to condense how bad it is.

We’ve tried everything. Councilling, Therapy, Psychiatrist, even a priest or two. She doesn’t listen to them, and she doesn’t listen to me. She doesn’t say she’s sorry, and no matter how obvious I make her drinking an issue, she thinks its me who has the problem. At the rate she drinks.. It affects her greatly. She’s no longer as smart as she used to be, her hair is thinning and falling out, and her teeth are rotting. She used to be gorgeous, lovely smile, black raven hair, with a natural gray streak(birthmark). She’s only 44! She’ll probably die at 50, I don’t know what to do.. any word of advice would really help.

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this has always been a fear of mine, as alcoholism sort of runs in my family. apparently my mother has been an alcoholic for a while, but my sister had done such a great job of hiding it from me (as did the rest of my family) and i only noticed when my sister went away to college when i was 14. when i turned 15 my mother was in an accident (hit by a drunk driver on her way to work) and she then stopped drinking alcohol b/c of her medicine and such. now i’m 19, and my aunt is suffering because of alcohol and her family is falling apart. i only began socially drinking at 17, and have avoided drinking before then. now that im in college, ive been drinking almost every weekend with friends. ive noticed that it now takes a lot for me to feel the affects of the alcohol, and i have to drink a lot more than i used to to get a buzz. now it’s monday and i last drank on saturday and havent done anything productive because i feel like my brain is fried and i cant think straight. my thoughts keep going to the alcohol in my fridge and how i just have to get through the week so i can drink it with my friends.

am i being paranoid into thinking that this is like an early stage of alcoholism?? i mean, i only drink at social times like when im having a party or with friends…should i stop drinking all together to just avoid what i’m afraid of??

thank you for reading all of my rambling if you do!!!
it is possible were i’m from the legal drinking age is not 21

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My husband is a functional alcoholic. We have Known each other 15 years, married for half that time. We have 2 babies now, 21 and 18 months. Last night he passed out when he was supposed to be watching the toddler, I came in and the toddler was running around unsupervised, trying to pull down a hot crock pot off the counter. We have done this dance before, and as far as I am concerned this is his last chance to get help. He always says he can do it on his own, then goes back to his old ways. I feel trapped because I can’t raise my babies in this environment, but I can’t divorce him because I fear for the kids safety when they are in his custody for visitations. He has never been pulled over or put into jail (that I know of) so his alcoholism is based on my word alone. He hides it very well. If I give him an ultimatum, could it possibly drive him to get help? Or would it make things worse?
I am seeing a counselor, and she asks that I put this on the back burner for my own sake right now, and not make any big decisions for awhile. I have a lot going on adjusting to going back to work and all. But I feel so trapped and clueless about what I am supposed to do now.
He is not going to watch the kids unsupervised anymore, period. I have found some local Al-Anon meeting to try. Thanks for your suggestions.

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