My girlfriend and i have a long distance relationship (i live in swansea, she lives in bristol). my friends were always cautious due to the distance but i always told them that the distance worked, because it meant our relationship was deeper, seeing as we talk a lot more than anything we do physically. We have been dating for a long while and we had both just told each other that we loved each other. we looked in each others eyes when we did this with huge smiles on our faces, and we took things further than we had ever done with anyone ever before. The next day she went home, and i went back to my home on the wirral for christmas (im a university student). That night i got a message from her telling me she had just slept with an ex who we had had many arguments about because they flirted outragously, even asking each other when they were going to have sex, despite my girlfriend having been a virgin until the night before. Even worse, the next day she slept with him again, although this time she tried to hide it from me until her sister found out what she had done and got her to confess. I dumped her, but i couldnt help myself, and 4 days later we talked and got back together. I am a very forgiving person, and after another week i had forgiven her, because she said the incidents had been due to a large ammount of alcohol and preassure from both her sister and this guy.
Right after i forgave her (i had gotten her to promise to cut all ties with the guy before i could) she promised me he was not going to be at a party she was attending while she was on the phone to me, and not even an hour later i was told she had leapt on him as soon as she got through the door, not 2 minutes after promising he wasnt there. to make things even worse, that was christmas day, and our anniversary.
Its been a month since the kiss, but we have had a lot of problems. my girlfriend says shes sorry, but refuses to say why she did it other than ‘i wasnt thinking, i was drunk, and her sister said to stop teasing the poor bloke (who is almost 10 years older than her) or to sleep with him, so she chose to fuck him on her sister kitchen floor with her nephew in the next room. finally, she admitted she was scared because her feelings for me were getting too serious. She assures me she hasnt done it since, and i believe she doesnt want to hurt me anymore, but i cant shake the feeling she has been going with him behind my back since christmas, and is doing stuff every night due to excessive alcoholism she has now started… Will i ever be able to trust her again? she keeps asking me how she can get my trust back, but i dont have an answer for her, and i cant stop thinking about it, having nightmares, etc… it doesnt help that her and every other girlfriend ive ever had has done it (ive only had 6 in total, but still) and that every single one of them has given reasons as to why it isnt my fault, but i really cant help but think it is…
Until now i have never really been jealous or controlling, but now im rediculously paranoid. can anyone give any suggestions that could help make things easier for us? or that could help us work things out… im practically begging for help here…
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