I’m 17 and feeling pretty low right about now. Actually I’ve been in a bout of depression for the past 7-8 months and I’m sort of lost. I’ve realized I’m pretty young and I’ve got quite a ways to go in life, and for that I’m extremely grateful. I know in the back of my mind that I still have a chance at a decent happy life, but I can’t bring myself to actually making things happen. I don’t want to live this way anymore, but I can’t seem to stop. If you’ve had experience with addiction and living a shitty life please drop some knowledge and lend me a hand. I need someone who really knows what they’re talking about, someone who has taken that first step out and has been where I am.
I’m a sleeping pill junkie, and that’s one of my biggest problems. I think my mom gave them to me when I was 12 to help me sleep and I’ve been addicted ever since. It’s gotten to the point where I could take 12 maximum strength pills a night and not even fall asleep. I’ll just stay up and listen to music while I enjoy the high. I’ve quit before, but I just end up relapsing. I know I’m capable of quiting again, it’s just so hard. Especially because I want this time to be my last.
I use to smoke 2 packs of cigarettes a day from 15-17 (I’m about to be 18). I’ve quit and haven’t smoked in about 9 months.
Another addiction I have, which might not sound like one, is being a recluse. I was locked up when I was 14 for practically dropping out of school and I lost a lot of friends. I ended up switching to a charter school wich is 2 days a week for a short time and I ended up staying at home with no where to go. I eventually started skipping school because I got pale and I didn’t want people to look at me weird. Now it’s to the point where I haven’t really left my room for about 6th months.
I’m really living on the shit side of life right now and want out. I know I’m never going to be 100% like everyone else, but I want somewhat of a normal life or to be able to say I lived life to the fullest. There’s days where I’m ready to go out and do something about it, but end up getting discouraged because I don’t really know what to do and I slip back into this reclusive state with sleeping pills.
I want to say that it’s not that bad, but of course I’m going to say that because it’s an addiction…
I want to be able to put my life behind me once and for all. If there’s anyone who can help me or give advice, please do so.
I’m about to be out of school by the way.. Going for my GED because of my life style right now pretty much.. I just don’t know where I’m going after. I’ve put some thought into the military, but the more I think about it I don’t know if it’s such a good idea. I was kind of using it as an escape or a place I could turn too, but I know they would tear me up in there. I have major self-esteem issues.
I don’t know..
Clicking advertisements helps keep this site running. thank you!
