Short Version:

CA = loft 3 blocks from beach, **away from crazy alcoholic family, part time modeling career (I’m pre-law, just good money)….. **empty without love of my life, not in a needy way just i want to see him smile in love way.

NJ = could get my own apartment there, **crazy alcoholic family, could sign some modeling contracts too, with love of my life i could hug him everyday & kiss him goodnight

note: my top law school choices are both in CA & NYC so thats an even draw

….been in CA one month & a half, decide in the next two days to keep a year lease or shorten it or end it.. after 2 days the 1yr lease sticks.

Long Version (for those who really want to help me in the greatest choice I’ll ever have to make…)

The youngest of my VERY unhealthy family, I’ve been “the mom” since I was 14. Did everything I could- got them school, rehab, jobs, etc. I kept a social life, good grades, all-star volleyball, college, etc. Had an amazing boyfriend for 5 years. All I’ve ever wanted & more. Above all, I truly love him in every way possible. He’s my best friend. However, I couldn’t get sucked into my family cycle anymore. I can’t help those who don’t want my help. I moved to CA & broke up with the love of my life before I left. I didn’t want to put us through a long distance relationship. My feeling is that if two people don’t just love each other but are in love that nothing will stand in the way.. & I had to move to save myself.
We’re on great terms. We did make rules though, we don’t act totally the same obviously. I got a 1,000+sqft loft three blocks away from the beach, hardwood floors, granite, french doors to the balcony- the whole nine. I pulled myself out of the ghetto after all my years of wishing.
I’m naturally blonde, blue-eyed, & size zero. Shallow wealthy guys easily fall for me, not my thing. Intelligent, funny, caring, good-looking men ask me out… Even when I hang out with them. I feel nothing. I see all guys as friends, I can’t feel anything for anyone but the one I left behind.

I’m in NJ visiting, my family is nuts. NUTS. I went out for an hr with him, just to catch-up. We got ice cream, sat down & talked. Without any of my complicated career, family, etc problems being solved.. the knots in my stomach disappear & I just feel like everything makes sense. I know that sounds dumb, but it’s true.

SO NOW WHAT DO I DO?! I’d love some life experience on this one, but anyyy advice will do.

2 days to make the choice… stay in CA, move to NJ…

(He’s finishing school on the East & can’t move out there if anyone was wondering)

head says CA, heart says NJ…

what will I regret doing or not doing more?

Someone please help =(

Thanks so much! Sorry I went into so much detail lol I really wanted someone to get my situation..

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