Is porn addiction shameful to the addict? How do they hit rock bottom?

March 29, 2010 admin 2 comments

I have so many questions about the one addiction I don’t understand. What do the significant others do to save sanity, and when is enough? Should you confront the person, or send subtle hints that you’re aware of the goings on? It’s gotten to the point that my boyfriend stays up all night, comes home from work once an hour to masturbate in secret, and then tells me he has no sex drive because of our finances right now. No sex drive? He masturbates 15-20 times a day! That’s very deceitful and I feel our relationship is a lie, that he leads a double life. I’m sick of literally begging for attention. I can’t compete with the images online! He’s in denial, and it’s ruined what we have left of our relationship. Is there any hope, or should I run?

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Written by Replace about 2 years ago.

Porn and/or sex addiction is similar to other addictons in that the person has intermittent shame, but denies it (even to self) and shoves it to the botton of his/her mind.
They hit bottom when the behaviors become unacceptable to others and destroy everyday life (loss of job,loss of mate, etc.)

As with all addicts, anyone who stays with this person and continues enablement is condemed to stay where they are and encourage the addict to do the same.

Insist on counselling. If he won’t go, go yourself. You need help to gather strength to leave this battlefield.
Written by farleyjackmaster about 2 years ago.

I am an addict and have been in recovery for over 5 years now (drink/drugs). So hopefully I can give you some insight into how the addict’s mind works. The addict will continue using until things get too painful and the substance/subject no longer works for them. When I say works I mean covers up the underlying problems that are causing them to use in the first place. This is when the rock bottom occurs and this is when I personally got help. But it can be a very very long road and some people ever get into recovery as the illness of addiction is so powerful. It could be time to make him aware that you know about what he’s been doing but beware he might deny it (remember he is lying to himself about this so he will try to lie to protect his addiction) you might want to get some proof so he can’t do this. If he does admit it then I would suggest getting him help if he wants to (but beware he might make this gesture to keep you happy and not really be doing it for himself, first and foremost he’s got to want to do it for him). Otherwise I’m afraid it would be better for you to leave the relationship as his illness (addiction is an illness) will progress. I have put the sex and love addicts anonymous website address below for you in case he would like to go to a meeting. Good luck xx

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Is porn addiction shameful to the addict? How do they hit rock bottom?

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