Is it really the right time for us to have a baby?

March 27, 2010 admin 5 comments

My husband and I are married for 3 years now. I’ve been wanting so bad since the very first day of our marriage to get pregnant and have a healthy baby. We tried so hard and nothing seemed to work. the whole process of trying every month seemed like and endless roller coaster to me. I cried allot every time I got my period. and felt more and more devastated and depressed. It hurts so bad. every time I see a pregnant woman or hear that a friend or a relative is pregnant or even see parent with their children I cry and feel burnt from the inside. I became isolated. This thing got me so depressed. My husband and I finally decided to go for IVF. I sold my car so that we can pay for the IVF treatment and started with the protocol. and just when I did I found out that my husband is a heroin addict. It was like spilling acid on an unhealed wound. I felt like the whole world’s doors are shut away from me. I grieved but decided to postpone the IVF treatment and stop the medications. My husband promised to stop but never did. I begged him to get into a rehab center but he refused saying that he can quit when he wants to without the need of a rehab. I tried everything with him but nothing seemed to work with him. I just don’t know what to do. Some say that maybe if I do get pregnant and have a kid then he will change and feel more responsible but I dont know if that would work? I want a child so bad though and I just sit everyday crying for hours just wishing I had a child.. Should I listen to my instincts and proceed with IVF or should I wait until my husband sobers up? Has anyone been through this or know anyone who’s veen through the same thing? could it be that the joy of a having a baby will make my husband be a more responsible person and takes a whole new step into changing himself into a better person?? not that he’s a bad person now, he’s a very loving husband and treats me so well but I really dont know why he go himself into what he’s in in the first place?

Additional Details
both of us been tested for all STD’s and STI’s after all its an IVF protocol to be tested befor going for IVF. My husband does not use needles he just smokes and snorts heroin

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Comments

Written by Casey about 2 years ago.

Absolutely, girl! Nothing says loving like a babbling baby bundle of joy! Your husband will just snap out of it right away. Everyone knows that love is stronger than hardcore Afghani wax-pack pure and delicious Heroin.

That worked out really well for Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love’s marriage and family, didn’t it?

You’re such a smart lady. I’m sure you didn’t need a random stranger’s advice to know to follow your monthly female emotions.
Written by Smartgirl about 2 years ago.

from my opinion you shouldn’t get pregnant because what if your husband really doesn’t change. your going to lament ur lament ur self from doin the wrong thing
Written by Eloina about 2 years ago.

I feel for you that you haven’t had the joy of being a mother. are you familiar with the phrase”things happen for a reason”?
think of this as a sign from above. sad to say but your husband is not going to change on his own and your not getting pregnant has a lot to do with his addiction. have the doctors not told you that? not only are you risking your life getting pregnant with a heroin addict but you are at risk of having a baby with down syndrome or other abnormalities. you need to give your husband an ultimatum and have other routes to go about your future.I suggest you find out as much as you can about this addiction and the side effects on a fetus as well as clinics for your husband and some support groups for you. you are going to need all the support you need what ever route you decide to take. good luck.
Written by smills0205 about 2 years ago.

DO NOT bring a child into this world in the situation you are in. DO NOT!! You need to wait until your husband does get rehabbed, however long that takes since he is currenlty in denial it could take a very long time before he realizes his addiction. You need to decide are you staying with him until he comes to reality and gets help or are you moving on, but do not bring a child into this mess.
Written by Serene E about 2 years ago.

He’ll be more responsible if you get prego???? YOU HAVEN’T BEEN READING ALL OF THESE QUESTIONS ON HERE ABOUT JERKS OF HUSBANDS!!!!!!!

Look, he’s an addict. What do addicts do? When they can’t get enough, they sell everything they can get their hands on, they rob, cheat and steal from family and friends, they lose their jobs, and finally, when they hit rock bottom, then they go for help. Then, when they do go for help, they almost always relapse at some point.
Is this what you want to expose your potential child to??????

I think it’s irresponsible to get prego with this guy. At least, right now.
When he’s sober a couple years, then maybe. But until then, it would be deliberately exposing your child to abuse. And, you need to think about, with your husband high most of the time, would this affect his sperm????????

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Is it really the right time for us to have a baby?

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