I think I ruined her life?

April 3, 2010 admin 7 comments

When I was 15 I had this friend, she was my best friend. We we’re so close, we told each other everything. We literally fell in love with each other, or that’s what we thought it was. At the time I had been molested by her grandfather and when I told her she stood by me. She listened to me, cried with me, and protected me. She helped me tell my parents, when I started cutting myself and ran away she found me and sat with me; she walked with me in the rain. She gave me everything.

When I turned 16 she had to go to rehab, for drug addiction. I started becoming numb and then I joined in with the popular girls, I became a robot. When she returned I didn’t want to give up my position as popular girl b/c it was something I always dreamt of being. I cut off all contact with her; many of the girls in my group teased her, so did I. I teased her about all the things she told me all her inner secrets. Then near my 17th birthday she just left one day, she ran away. Inside it hurt me, but outside I felt like I finally belonged somewhere.

It’s been ten years since we where best friends, I think about her all the time still. I wrote a book about my life and what I went through with the molestation. However b/c she is mentioned in the book I need her to sign a sheet. I saw her the other day; she looks so different but so much the same. She’s become so skinny and she looks ragged. I want to approach her and thank her for all she’s done for me, but I am so scared. She’s the reason I am happy today not the other girls and I want to tell her that and re-establish contact, but I don’t know if she wants to see me again. What do I do?

Only mature answers please…

Woody I do feel that I owe her my hapiness, my life, but I just feel like she must hate me.

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Comments

Written by federer4eva about 2 years ago.

Aaw , that story was sad but sweet. Dont worry go ahead and re-establish contact with her. At first it may be akward but you will get over it. If you were best friends once, why can’t you be BFF again? She was always there for you and now you want to be there for her! Best of Luck..

P.S: Tissues advised cause there may be a lot of tears shed because of the emotions you both will go through!
Written by Sunshine R about 2 years ago.

wow, you’ve been through a lot
don’t be scared to talk to her, or you’ll forever wish you did. you’ll always wonder what would life had been like if i did talk to her?
Talk to her, tell her how you feel, and how much she really does mean to you. tell her that she helped you get through everything and that your sorry you left her and how it hurt you when she left and didnt knwo what to think when she jsut left you. you have to try, there’s absolutely nothing you can do but try. good luck, you sound liek such a strong person!
good luck in your book!
Written by micaela s about 2 years ago.

You should approach her and tell her how sorry you are for your childish actions. You should go and try to be her friend again because you were friends before. Be a good friend and don’t hold back. After all she is your friend or at least was.
Written by woody s about 2 years ago.

First of all, YOU didn’t ruin anyone’s life. Approach her, ask to sit and have a heart to heart….. if she agrees, tell her everything you feel. It’s all you can do. As a side note, if she is truly responsible for you being who you are today, then there would be no story to tell without her…… don’t you feel you owe her a percentage of profits from your book?
Written by Staci M about 2 years ago.

You Should Get Back In Contact Ring Her Up And Ask Her To Meet Up Somewhere B/c Yous Need To Talk! Tell Her You Reacted That Way B/c You Were Childish And You Were Hurting Without Her So You Ended Up Taking It Out On Her! Gd Luck With Everything Hpe It Works Out! xxx
Written by Sunnybear about 2 years ago.

I can see why she was hurt. When being popular means hurting someone you care about you have to decide if it’s worth it. Part of you reasoned it was worth it, but your conscience told you it was wrong. I’m guessing the molestation left you lonely, hurting, scared, and needing to know real love. What your friend offered you–caring about you and being with you through the pain–that was love. When you betrayed all her secrets, did she keep yours? I’m wondering if you turning on her was a contributing factor that led her to where she is. Maybe she had emotional issues in her life at the same time you did. Or maybe something happened later that led her down that road. Any time she looked back on you turning your back on her it probably cut like a knife. She loved and trusted you. Hopefully she forgave you. If you have her number or email or even instant messenger screen name, contact her and let her know you want to apologize in person. Tell her what’s on your heart. Ask her to forgive you. Whether she does or not is up to her. Tell her if she’s willing to forgive you you’d like to be friends again. I hope she can forgive you. If so, work on earning her trust. Maybe you two can exchange your life stories and be there to comfort each other once again. Sounds like a fairy tale, right? It doesn’t always work like that, but it sounds like she could really use a friend. If you can get her talking about her life, make sure you don’t come across as judgmental because she needs to believe and know that she can trust you with anything she says. I’m guessing it’ll take time for her to trust you enough to share what’s on her heart.

One more thing, did you use her real name in the story? If so, you might want to let her know. Let her know what you wrote about her. There’s a whole legal situation with using a person’s real name. What about changing her name to protect her identity?
Written by J7ef4jCkp about 2 years ago.

The only way to find out if she forgives you is to contact her, ask forgiveness, and ask if she’d be willing to be friends with you again. The problem with actions is they have consequences. Be prepared for her to hate you, but hope for the best. Maybe she will find it in her heart to forgive you.

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