I came into this picture when I was 25 and my husband was 37. His children were neglected at their mothers as she had 4 stores which she owned and was a workaholic. When we got together, they all eventually moved in with us and, also, the oldest two had to be put in rehab. I eventually quit my job after four years to stay at home with the youngest because she was sick all the time with sun toxemia. I admit that I have made mistakes along the way, but I have really tried to love them. At first, I was jealous of their relationship with their father, but after a few years I got over this. However, the children still have this hatred towards me that I don’t understand. At Christmas and Birthdays, I go out of my way to make their gifts special. I always tell them I love them and even moved from MO to TX, right down the street from where the eldest three grandchildren live, just to be near them and make my husband happy. Still their hatred lives on. This is my recent turmoil. I let one of the stepdaughters move in. She and my other stepdaughters husband (yes, her sisters husband) started visiting at my house and keeping it a secret. They told mine and my husbands only daughter together (she’s 10) to not tell the wife. I told the “bad” stepdaughter to move out of my house. Now, the one whose husband was screwing around is totally upset with me more than ever. She has always had anger issues, but now she really hates me. She has not allowed me to see the grandchildren for almost a month now. I had it out with her immaturity, even though she is 30 and told her she was using her children as a weapon and it wasn’t fair to them, me or my husband. I was very upset. My husband has stated the same things to me in private, but I did not reveal this to her. This was my deal. However, my husband did not back me up at all. It was so humiliating. This daughter has always treated him badly on a whim and he calls me upset about it at least once a week and I listen. She’s very unhappy with her life and blows hot and cold all the time. But when it comes to confronting her, he cows down. I hate him so much for not backing me up when he feels exactly as I do. When he did this tonight it was just the icing on the cake for me. My stepdaughter told me tonight that respect was earned, and, for the record, I have never done anything disrespectful to her. I have never been drunk, on drugs, or anything along those lines since I have known her. She and her sister have called me crying telling me how lucky that she was to have a normal grandmother for her children and how lucky her sister was going to be when her child was born (she was pregnant) to have a “Donna Reed” grandmother like me. Their biological mother flies off the cuff with very bad anger fits and is a workaholic still. I am so confused and, while I love them, I hate them, also. I am just disgusted with this whole situation after 15 years and my 10 year old wants to leave, also, because of the arguing with my husband. He instigates so much stuff just to screw with peoples heads. It’s like he gets a kick out of it and he does it alot with our daughter. He’s self-employed and when business is not coming in he just takes it out on everyone. I am afraid of being on my own after 15 years and this time with a 10 year old child to raise into a successful adult. I don’t know the first step to leaving and I feel like I need someone to hold my hand. I’m so scared. I’m afraid my daughter’s life will be messed up if I leave. Emotionally, I am fried. I just recently quit my job working 12 hours a day 3 days a week and then 4 days a week. I tried for 5 months after being a homemaker for 15 years and my daughter and mines relationship deteriorated immensely because I was so exhausted all the time, along with mine and my husbands. I don’t know what else to add. I would like to get an education somehow. Please help me with any experience that you have had with this type of situation or any help you know of that I should apply for. I live in Fort Worth, TX.

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