First off i want to thank anyone who reads this and gives me some advice. I’m having an extremely tough time with this, its starting to get the best of me and make me feel like i don’t even want to live anymore.
Anyways, my dad is really tough acting towards me by the way he talks to me and all that. He says all the time i need to be reminded of my F**K ups everyday and how i f**ked everything i’ve ever done up and that’s all i’m gonna continue to do. That i’m never gonna make anything out of myself. There’s so much more he says to me that really brings me down, but i don’t want to bore you all with all that, he just basically makes me feel like committing suicide about everyday.
Now with the big part….I am not afraid to admit i have a problem now. I became addicted to pain pills. I’m 26 now and i became addicted probably around the age of 20 or so. I really want to get help, i want to quit this for good and never look back at it. I’m so serious about quitting, its something i really want…But i dont know what to do. I have a friend who is 30 and he went thru the same thing i did with the addiction. He went to the Dr. a while back and got on suboxone and is now doing wonderful, he’s really came a long way with it. And that’s what i want to do, so last night i tried to talk to my dad and asked him to please have an open mind and not put me down and please just listen. Well i told him about my addiction and how bad i wanted help cause i wanted to quit and try to go back to the person i know i am that i once was before all this. And then he started saying i wasn’t nothing but a dopehead and all i want to do is go take a bunch of other pills to get off pills and get addicted to them. He said if i was a man that i could do it without the help, that all i might do is sweat a lil bit for a few days then i’ll be fine, that i’m just trying to get someone to feel sorry for me. See, my car is not working right now. So i don’t have a vehicle at the moment. He said too last night that i’m probably just doing this so he’ll fix my car because if i try to go get help then i’ll be whining about not having a car and not being able to go to the dr. He said too that all i’ll be doing then is trying to go out and hang out with my friends all the time when i need to be sitting my a** here and not leaving the house. He says me getting help is just money wasted, and that i’m just trying to get extra money out of him and just blow more of his money for nothing.

I just dont know what to do now. I want to stop all this sooo bad, i’m ready to quit all this, its gotten to the point where its tore me all to pieces. I’ve never wanted to stop something so bad in my life as i do this. But i dont know where to turn now because of the way he’s made me feel and the things he’s said to me. If i don’t get help i’m just gonna get worse and worse taking stuff. But i’m so serious about quitting now and never taking another one. Can anyone please give me some good advice on what to do and how to approach this? I feel so lost and lonely and like i have no where or no one to turn to. If i’m gonna beat this addiction, its gonna be hard to do alone. I’m obviously not gonna have his support. He just wants to keep putting me down and making me feel terrible all the time.
If anyone has any instant messengers please add me so i can just talk to someone…. My msn is jeremyb6@hotmail.com yahoo is topdawg_9
and aol/aim is tpdwg7

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