Having problems from my dad…. I Need help with an addiction and don’t know who or where to turn to now?

April 7, 2010 admin 12 comments

First off i want to thank anyone who reads this and gives me some advice. I’m having an extremely tough time with this, its starting to get the best of me and make me feel like i don’t even want to live anymore.
Anyways, my dad is really tough acting towards me by the way he talks to me and all that. He says all the time i need to be reminded of my F**K ups everyday and how i f**ked everything i’ve ever done up and that’s all i’m gonna continue to do. That i’m never gonna make anything out of myself. There’s so much more he says to me that really brings me down, but i don’t want to bore you all with all that, he just basically makes me feel like committing suicide about everyday.
Now with the big part….I am not afraid to admit i have a problem now. I became addicted to pain pills. I’m 26 now and i became addicted probably around the age of 20 or so. I really want to get help, i want to quit this for good and never look back at it. I’m so serious about quitting, its something i really want…But i dont know what to do. I have a friend who is 30 and he went thru the same thing i did with the addiction. He went to the Dr. a while back and got on suboxone and is now doing wonderful, he’s really came a long way with it. And that’s what i want to do, so last night i tried to talk to my dad and asked him to please have an open mind and not put me down and please just listen. Well i told him about my addiction and how bad i wanted help cause i wanted to quit and try to go back to the person i know i am that i once was before all this. And then he started saying i wasn’t nothing but a dopehead and all i want to do is go take a bunch of other pills to get off pills and get addicted to them. He said if i was a man that i could do it without the help, that all i might do is sweat a lil bit for a few days then i’ll be fine, that i’m just trying to get someone to feel sorry for me. See, my car is not working right now. So i don’t have a vehicle at the moment. He said too last night that i’m probably just doing this so he’ll fix my car because if i try to go get help then i’ll be whining about not having a car and not being able to go to the dr. He said too that all i’ll be doing then is trying to go out and hang out with my friends all the time when i need to be sitting my a** here and not leaving the house. He says me getting help is just money wasted, and that i’m just trying to get extra money out of him and just blow more of his money for nothing.

I just dont know what to do now. I want to stop all this sooo bad, i’m ready to quit all this, its gotten to the point where its tore me all to pieces. I’ve never wanted to stop something so bad in my life as i do this. But i dont know where to turn now because of the way he’s made me feel and the things he’s said to me. If i don’t get help i’m just gonna get worse and worse taking stuff. But i’m so serious about quitting now and never taking another one. Can anyone please give me some good advice on what to do and how to approach this? I feel so lost and lonely and like i have no where or no one to turn to. If i’m gonna beat this addiction, its gonna be hard to do alone. I’m obviously not gonna have his support. He just wants to keep putting me down and making me feel terrible all the time.
If anyone has any instant messengers please add me so i can just talk to someone…. My msn is jeremyb6@hotmail.com yahoo is topdawg_9
and aol/aim is tpdwg7

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Comments

Written by WarriorII about 2 years ago.

Definitely go see a doctor if and when the car is fixed. Don’t listen to anything your dad tells you; it’s way to hard to get rid of an addiction without professional help – so therefore see a doctor. I’m sorry.
Written by Shelly about 2 years ago.

First off… you’re dad should be supporting you and helping you, not breaking you down continuously.

Secondly, you both need some kind of counseling. You may need to go to rehab. And you’re dad is wrong–he should try watching someone going through the process of quitting cigarettes, let alone quitting any other drug addiction.

Best wishes and best of luck.
Written by centakume about 2 years ago.

u rly shud move out & move in with GOOD friends so theyll have a good impact on u. you dont need all his negative energy & his put downs. addiction is hard & usually to get rid of it ul need medicine or shots of some kind. u shud see ur doctor
Written by Houdinii the Mindfreak about 2 years ago.

im sorry to hear this…i know this is going to sound weird but if you ever feel like taking the pills remind yourself about how your dad feels about you…dont do it to bring you down but to help you push yourself to stop…also you should keep yourself occupied so you dont think about any of this…i hpe i help.

answer mine please http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Ajsbph8dPVTENncp1Om1q9Tsy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20090611210618AARfRYW
Written by i think i like him about 2 years ago.

i feel bad for u, almost the same thing happened to me. the only difference is that im 17 and im livin with my best friend. i couldnt stand either of my parents so i took wat i could and got out. my best friend’s mother acts as if my own and got me help. the point is to ask yur friends, and if their yur best friends they will be their for u.
Written by Alan about 2 years ago.

I agree that it’s going to be real tough trying to break an addiction in a bad atmosphere, my pops used to be like that up until I was about 11 or 12, but yeah that’s different I guess.. Simply telling you “It’s going to be hard and just think positive” isn’t really going to help, you’ll hear 8 out of 10 people say that same exact thing. The only thing I could say is either he changes or you go stay with someone, for a while at least. My dad changed a lot when I went to stay with my mom for almost a whole year, I guess it gave him time to reflect on everything.. but then again I don’t know about your living conditions and all, so that might not be an option for you, I don’t know.. but I’ll keep on wishing the best for you, the least I can do..
Written by Me! :- ) about 2 years ago.

Hey Jeremy

It seems that your dad has the problem and not you. You need to realize that you started on the pain killers to get out from under that pain of being trashed by him on a regular basis.

If you go back in time, you will find that his dad just did the same to him, so to him, that’s just how it’s done! He’s damaged, and damged people just damage other people.

You need to quit taking him personally even if you find him painful. It would be good to understand that because of his problems, he has no credibility. He’s only learned how to tear down and has no model demonstrated to him as how to build someone up.
Your aren’t going to get any reassurance or affirmation from him, so don’t expect it. It just isn’t going to happen. He doesn’t have the ability. You will need to go it alone and encourage yourself. Remember, there’s Someone a whole lot greater than you and I who sees you as amazing and awesome.

Getting away from your father is your best bet and move into living your life. I don’t use the term “Dad”. That title is an earned title, and he hasn’t made it I’m afraid.
The first thing to do like someone mentioned it see a doctor and give the full details. The doctor can hook you up with a social worker, a councilor, get you out of there with your so called father, and start toward a program of getting you off your addiction as well as working you toward a life of your own which you must do. There will be no need for him to even know where you are unless you choose to include him, which I wouldn’t. The control will go completely into your hands, and he will be as much out of the picture as you like.

You can and will do well and your father has nothing to do with it and like I say, has no credibility whatsoever.

You can do good stuff and no doubt have some great talents.

Wanting the best for you Man

Me! :- )
Written by Kris-X about 2 years ago.

I see that youre in a really bad situation and what i can do to make you or atleast try to lose your suicidal thoughts is to recommend you to counsellor to whom you can talk to over the phone. When you want to get things off your chest and get support call a random number and just spill, just make sure its a woman u talk if you, NO MEN………… seriously. And before you start talking listen to the voice to see if it sounds pleasant. This is all a suggestion and i cant guarantee it will work immediately, but i just want u to know that i got the idea from an aunt who was called by some dude who had a problem of being gay, about ever since he was a child he gravitated to girls and feminine activities such as doing make-up and playing with dolls and he wondered if there was something wrong with him and he was VERY concerned about his state as he lived in JAMAICA and we are a very very very HOMOPHOBIC set of people and if the public knows that someone’s gay, they’re dead by the worst way possible, chopped up, beaten to death, house bombed and burnt etc, and at the end of it he thanked and lauded my aunt for what as she is an open minded person. Anyway my point is that if you dont get help soon the’ll be consequences, so go ahead and try this method . Im sorry i could’nt do anything personally to help though
Written by TheeRaunchyMann about 2 years ago.

Well, sounds like YOU are well on your way, to completing the “first step”, ADMITTING YOU are ADDICTED!!!

I do extensive work with 12 Step groups, AA / NA, and if YOU REALLY wanna beat your addiction, then I would suggest YOU check into your local AA or NA. And if YOU want to, I could give ya the web addresses, for the online groups, that I’m a member of and/or the ones that I manage. If YOU are interested in things like that, online support, then write to me at:
tooraunchymann@yahoo.com

I was an active alcoholic and BIG TIME drug addict, for over twenty years, and I was able to “arrest” my addictions. So YOU can do it, too!!! Write me, if YOU want further info!!! Or contact your local AA / NA !!!

~Thee Raunchy Mann~
Written by jupakiller5000 about 2 years ago.

anything else we should know? maybe the other third of your life???
Written by married man about 2 years ago.

Ive been their too, Theeraun & Me! have absolutely the best answers i couldn’t say it better myself.
Written by Meme about 2 years ago.

Ok, youre not gonna like this answer but here it goes, since you posted the question on the internet.

Your father does have a valid point eventhough he seems a little too harsh about it. You are 26 and it seems as if you still live at home with your parents supporting you. Don’t you think your dad is getting tired of this. You are supposed to be a man. Get a job and move out!!!! After you get off the pills.
As for the pills give me a break. Don’t get on other pills to get off these. Man up and go through withdrawal, then go to AA meeting or NA meetings and go through recovery. You need to experience withdrawal to remember the pain you went through. The only addiction that can kill you in withdrawal is SEVERE alchohol withdrawal nothing else even crack or meth cannot kill you and they are worse withdrawals. My bf got off crack years ago (before we were together and did not go on other meds to “help” My brother at 24 went off crystal meth (very bad addiction he had) with out meds. Though withdrawal was a pain,

Man up and go the old fashioned way, thats what I did, I’m a former addict and a girl, it’s tough but so is jail and that is exactly where you are headed if you keep that lifestyle up. Also very important you need new “friends”, otherwise you will go right back to drugs. Get away from these people, once recovery starts after withdrawal get a job etc and I can guarantee your father will treat you better, he will has RESPECT for you….

Whats up with this whiney self centered generation, Life is tough, choices are tough, you have to get what you want out of life, It should nt be a hand out.

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Having problems from my dad…. I Need help with an addiction and don’t know who or where to turn to now?

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