I have a family member that did drugs while she was pregnant (I think everything from drinking to smoking cigs to meth to cocaine…you name it). Her baby is now 7 weeks old and always has a blank “no ones home” look in her eyes. I thought it was due to to the drugs all those months but now I’m wondering if it could be from neglect. The baby hasn’t gained a lot of weight in 7 weeks due to neglect by the mother. She is strung out and don’t eat so she don’t think to feed the baby either. DSS is investigating her (this is the 3rd time she’s been investigated, once for each of her children: an 8 yr old, a baby who died at 3 months, and now this one). Anyway, I’m wondering if DSS does do something about the neglect, can the effects of whatever is going on with the baby be reversed? I adopted a baby so I know all about RAD and neglect, etc. but I really want to know if anyone has had any experience with this? I just think that the baby is getting “behind” due to the neglect, more so than the drugs. What are your thoughts?

Other than the weight gain problem and the blank stare, she seems healthy. I know she could have some brain damage or something going on (God forbid). It’s not a secret that DSS would call family members first and we are licensed already so it would probably be us. I’m trying to be prepared by being informed of what to do to help this baby as much as possible. My hope is that they remove the baby but only temporarily so they can get the mother into drug rehab or something. In the meantime, it would be nice if a family member could take care of the baby and put some weight on the poor thing! I have one other family member that could possible take the baby for a while. I would foster this child to get the mother help if that is possible and I would like to be able to help the baby in that period also. Please give me your thoughts? I really don’t want to adopt this baby so please don’t go bashing me for trying to steal a child or anything. I just know the mother and I know that she is not going to willingly change her habits for anybody so it would take something drastic to wake her up. If you’ve been investigated by DSS 3 times and you’re still not taking it seriously, you need a wake up call. She does some heavy drugs and it’s to the point that I’m afraid she’s got short term memory problems. Don’t suggest that we (as a family) should have done something to help the mom before because we have all tried. You can’t check someone into rehab, they have to sign themselves in. She did once but she signed herself right back out. I’m just saying that because I know all those adoptees with issues are going to be on my case. Anyway, whatever happens, I would like to be able to help this child be as healthy as possible, no matter what is in store for her future so any advice you can give, I’m listening.

Thanks!!

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