Confessing a Deep Secret to Your Fiancé?

April 11, 2010 admin 6 comments

I am a smoker – have been for a little over 10 years. I can quit for days/weeks at a time, but am still a smoker. I am not a fool in thinking “I can quit at any time” I know it’s an addiction, and need to confront it. Problem is – my BF has no idea I smoke! I have hidden it for almost a year (always bathing, brushing teeth etc. before seeing him)
I love this man with all my heart. We have plans to move in together and get married, which means I need to quit for good. My question is:
– Do I try to do it by myself (mood swings and weight gain issues I have to confront by myself)…OR
– Do I confess that I still secretly smoke and ask for his help in quitting, (this means unleashing MANY issues too lengthy to note here…examples were he lied about not being divorced…and lied about how old he was (thought he was 35 – he’s 45!) I gave him living hell for lying, and yet here I am lying about something else!)
PS – He is divorced now! But still 45! And I still secretly smoke!

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Written by Kirsten about 2 years ago.

you should be honest with him, having secrets when you plan to marry is very unhealthy. if he really does love you he will help you out..
Written by Panchoman about 2 years ago.

If you hope to be a happy married couple, you must learn to trust each other. You must confide and confess things like these to him in order to build a good strong bond between you guys. Also, how would he feel if he found out this secret from another source then yourself? It’s always better to tell people the truth before they find it from another source. + he’ll be able to support and help you along the way!

Good luck.
Written by Ashley D about 2 years ago.

id be up front and honest with him. in my mind it would be way easier to quit with someone to help keep me distracted. like if i wanted a cigarette, he would say something like “lets go to a movie instead” and stuff…i dont know how well that would actually work but i thinnk it would be better than trying to quit alone
Written by Samantha P about 2 years ago.

I would say do number two. Confess and see if he well help. If he help you know he cares for you. Try. you two need to start talking more.
Written by Miss G about 2 years ago.

Write him a note…

That way you don’t blurt anything out that would be embarrassing, and you can make it sound almost poetic, that you are struggling with the nicotine addiction.

If he loves you- he will surely not mind that you are an occasional smoker. He might not even notice. Just write him a confessional note revealing that you have a deep secret that you want to share with him..

People love it when they find out the truth about something.. Who knows? He may have had some trust issues going on from time to time, when you act weird or differently, like you are covering something up or ashamed.. This will help give him peace of mind.

Do it!! It is best to be honest, even if it isn’t direct and up front- honesty is always appreciated!!! =)
Written by Lydia about 2 years ago.

Smoking is the least of your concerns. I would have left the dude after his first whopping lie about not being divorced – and not been there when he confessed about lying about his age.

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