Boyfriend is threatening suicide if we breakup?

April 12, 2010 admin 42 comments

My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little under a year now, and I’m still living at home so even though I’m 18 i still have to follow the rules. I’m not allowed to see him so its very stressful to be with him, I have to lie just to see him for a couple of hours. I have a lot of other crap going on so i told him we needed to break up, maybe just for a while until i get my own place because i don’t feel right lying anymore, if i get caught with him i get kicked out so i tried to break up with him. I told him that later on we can try it again but he got so upset. He refused to come and talk in person so we could talk about it face to face, so I had to do it over messages, I explained it wasn’t his fault its just the situation and he started freaking out saying I was all he has and without me theres no reason to live. That he is going to shoot himself in the head, because i’m the only reason he has to live. I know, I know “everyone” threatens this but hes tried to kill himself before…over one of his ex’s, he’s a pretty crap life so i know he’s already depressed, he wont go into any type of treatment program so i didnt know what to do. So i told him i made a mistake and that i was sorry and i didnt mean it, but i’m so tired of feeling like i have responsibility over his life, its not fair, he always tells me how much he went through when i attempted suicide earlier this year and had to go to rehab for 4 months like blackmailing and guilting me saying how i’m just abandoning him,I never loved him and all that. So i guess we’re still together, but I seriously don’t think i can handle this anymore, I am personally bipolar so something as small as this may be to someone else is huge and its driving me crazy. So any input anyone has is greatly appreciated i’m getting to the point where i’m suicidal over this and everything else …thanks for reading my ranting question..

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CONFIDENTIAL DRUG REHABILITATION boyfriend, breakup, suicide, threatening

Comments

Written by immasexygurl about 5 months ago.

Sounds like he needs help and that you DO need to get out.. talk to someone.. maybE police
Written by Mistress Mayhem about 5 months ago.

AND YOU BELIEVE HIM!!?? how is he goign to control you if he is dead?! tell him to call a suicide hotline and leave you alone!!!!
so your suicidal to , wow what can I say you need to get on meds becaue a suicide freak is not going to help you his love is toxic!!!
Written by Daisy b about 5 months ago.

tell someone about it cuz thats scary.
Written by Jamacie about 5 months ago.

don’t leave him god will b disappointed with you.
Written by Wise Old Man about 5 months ago.

Go to the police. He may not like it, but you, as a friend, should be looking out for him and ensuring he doesn’t kill himself. The police can get him a counselor, and will try and help him. Don’t let him die because you don’t think he means it.
Written by fo sho about 5 months ago.

your life is needs to be your priority.
Written by Clyde about 5 months ago.

fuck him….he needs to learn that its not the end of the world if u 2 break up…
nothing last 4ever…..

get out of there and get a TRO
Written by Devyn about 5 months ago.

Not going to read the whole question but the bottom line is that he will not commit suicide if you break up. Young guys say that all the time to try and guilt the girl in to staying but it is inevitable that you break up. If he does do it, well then you are lucky for getting out of it when you did because he is obviously crazy. If you want to end it, just do it, make number one happy and your life will be good. Don’t worry about what he does, just do what will make you happy.
Written by A_man_ about 5 months ago.

Let him kill himself. Call his bluff at the very least. He won’t drain you any longer and if your parents do not approve of him being a parent myself I can honestly side with them because they probably have a good reason for it.

He won’t be a drain on you anymore and he’ll be saving future girls the trouble of his crappiness. If he’s going to kill himself let him do it! One less r-tard in this existence Imo.
Written by KajzerGirl about 5 months ago.

He should not do that to you.
If he truly likes you then he will realize your circumstance and he shouldn’t threaten to kill himself for any reason.
I hope this helps!
Happy Holidays!
Written by Kip about 5 months ago.

Someone who threatens this to keep you is manipulating you and not someone you want to be around ever. It is NOT your responsibility. Do you think this will lead to a lifelong relationship? Built on this foundation?

I’ve been there and while we fear the worst, you have a better life without this person. I wasted 13 years of my life in a situation like that and for the past ten years I have been LIVING. And no, she didn’t kill herself when I finally left.

RUN. RUN. RUN.

Get help and get protective support if you need to. And counseling.

There is no way you can fix this.
Written by ♫♪Girlly♪♫ about 5 months ago.

I think you should tell him how you honestly feel and he’ll get over it. Maybe not right away, it might take him a few months but relationships happen… breakups happen. Good luck!
Written by Boxerboy about 5 months ago.

don’t believe him if u think he gonna do that go talk to the police and tell them everything they will take him somewhere to get help
Written by Savannah about 5 months ago.

Honestly if your not feeling him anymore then you should break up with him. As for the suicide thing–tell someone!! Like his parents cause if he is really serious about this then one false step and he may try to kill himself. The best result is to tell his parents if your scared for him by doing this you will be saving him from himself and he may get mad but tell him you care about him a lot and your worried about him. Explain the situation to his parents even if your not close with them or dont even know them because this is a very serious thing. Hope i helped

Answer my Q plz
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=Am3OxeyH3462F.4sfNq7fansy6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20091221075606AAeb2XR
Written by Alex. about 5 months ago.

Happed to me. The best thing to do is get out no matter how hard it is! Even if you will miss him! They will get abusive and it is even harder to get out, you might not even be able to get out. So I suggest you let him kill himself because he actually wont. trust me. well goodluck. I hope you make the best choice. just hope your not going to post something after this saying, ”my boyfriend hit me”.
Written by laurelle about 5 months ago.

He needs help and so do you. Talk to a counselor or even someone wise you trust. This is going to be a long road but I wish you luck :)
Written by ToeJams about 5 months ago.

Tell his parents or good friends or grand parent what he is planning for himself immediately then work your way out of it.
I had to deal with a web stalker, I know how much it sucks to have to deal with people like that. Be honest with them and let those closet to him, you aside deal with his mental break down.
He might not go for help but you can get people close to him to make him get it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LRb4C-3tJQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kw5s3CB_1pE
Written by Rodrigo D about 5 months ago.

go 911 they might help you if not call some one that will get help from a phone book
Written by iFooled about 5 months ago.

Dude, what he is doing is a small, insignificant example of terrorism. He’s making serious threats because that is how he manipulates people and gets what he wants. He’s guilting you into caring more about him. If you care about yourself, just do it. Dump the guy and watch him “attempt” suicide by swallowing JUST enough pills to need pumped out, and then you’ll see him whining and crying a few months later, but at least you’ll be back on track. He sounds like a little bit ch so drop his a ss now, before you get hooked for good.
Written by Enigma about 5 months ago.

What kind of family does this kid have? Why is he totally relying on girlfriends? Where are his friends? Don’t continue dating a boy emotionally blackmailing you into staying with him. He’s got no right to do this.
Written by ¸.•*´`*♥Kates ♥ Game11 ¸.•*´`*♥ about 5 months ago.

I totally understand how you feel. The same thing happened to me (and my ex did commit suicide in the end).

I wish I had got help from other adults, I tried to cope with his threats on my own, I phoned the samaritans and followed their advice (which obviously didn’t work) but maybe if I had got others to help too the pressure may have been less on me. It affected me for years. Go to anyone you think may be able to help. Doctor/Nurse/Auntie etc. I hope you get it sorted out.

PS. Can I add to the person who said that ‘he won’t do it’ yes it does happen – it happened to me and ruined my life. It is an awful situation to be in.
Written by Billie about 5 months ago.

if he is gonna commit suicide, let him do it. What do you care if he loves you or not. If you dont like him let him do it and it wont be your fault. Its your choice
Written by nohemy_a about 5 months ago.

First off, suicide doesn’t fix anything at all. I know you’ve probably heard that a million times but it’s true. Killing yourself doesn’t fix your problems so the thought of it shouldn’t even be crossing his mind or yours. Your boyfriend needs to get a grip. Life isn’t fair, nothing is. He really needs to chill out and get a reality check. He can’t be down about everything, if you choose to break up with him then he should understand why you’re breaking up with him and he needs to accept it. You told him that you and him could try it again but right now is just not the right time, so he shouldn’t be depressed. He needs to be more comprehending about your situation. Talk with him and if he still doesn’t understand, keep talking to him. Tell him everything will be okay and that you don’t want to end things but you have to as of right now. Make him understand.
Written by Tiffany about 5 months ago.

leave him? xx
Written by Gabz about 5 months ago.

He needs professional help…so talk to someone, even your parents, explain what is going on…you do not need this type of pressure. Talk to someone, a therapist maybe? You need to speak with someone too, this is too much for someone your age, especially because you are facing your own challenges.
Written by Ben about 5 months ago.

First thing you need to realize is that you cannot blame yourself for what he does to himself. What he does to himself is his choice and his choice alone. It seems like a form of emotional blackmail to me to try to get you to stay with him and emotional blackmail is on the way to emotional abuse.

If you truly think he’s going to hurt himself, either call whoever he lives with or call the police. Otherwise, there is nothing you can do. Since there really is nothing you can do, you cannot blame yourself for anything he may or may not do.
Written by Danny O about 5 months ago.

He’s just messing wit u. What ur giving is too good to let go so he wants some insurance that he can always have it. Break up with him and if things were meant to work out, they will
Written by Peace, Love, And Happiness! about 5 months ago.

He shouldn’t be holding that against you. He won’t, he is just scared that he will loose you. Tell someone, if he is saying that he will commit suicide, than get help for him. He obviously knows you’re going to break up with him, and I guess that’s his only way of keeping you with him? Get rid of him before he starts threatening you that he will kill both of you!
Written by Kaybaybayy about 5 months ago.

My advice to you….break up with him. He is not your responsibility, and obviously there’s a reason why your mom didn’t want you dating him! Hopefully he doesn’t shoot himself, but that is no longer your problem. Relationships and dating are supposed to be fun, and this is no where near that. Tell a trustworthy adult. Maybe a teacher or his parents. Someone needs to know he’s suicidal, even if it’s your own parents. Think about his life instead of saving yourself from punishment. However, break up with him. He needs to deal with that.
Written by KoKo KiTTy about 5 months ago.

I sent you an email with my answer. you should read it.
Written by bandbabe22 about 5 months ago.

OMG i went through the exact same thing!! My boyfriend would cry all the time bc i didnt want to date him anymore and he threatened to kill himself! It go to the point were it was tearing me apart and it wasnt even helping him that i decided to stay with him….he still said i was going to leave him one day. And you know what? I did! And he’s still alive and fine. Some people are attention seekers like that. But I do recommend telling someone about it…just in case. Like i told his older brother. Best of luck!
Written by Sara S about 5 months ago.

if you dont want to tell anyone or go to the police then i think you should try make him not like you so that he dumps you. try get some other girl to flirt with him or just start getting a mean and demanding. idk
Written by detroit_hottie about 5 months ago.

He needs help. he shouldn’t be making you feel this way. you need to leave him in till you can be with him and you don’t have to sneak around to see him and after he gets help. tell him to talk to someone like suicide hot-line or something
Written by jeni about 5 months ago.

get rid of him! focus on yourself. you can’t try and please him because in the process you’re harming yourself. so get rid of him, and keep him out of your life. this is not a healthy relationship. if he does end up killing himself, it was in no way your fault! he’s trying to control you by hanging this over your head. you can’t be with someone like this forever. he has his own problems that he needs to work out and you can’t fix them for him. get rid of him, and focus on making yourself healthy and happy. plus, this has already happened to him before (big red flag!) ..he’s not changing! if he won’t go into a treatment program, that’s his problem and not yours. get out of this relationship now before he does more harm to himself or you. he cannot be reasoned with. if you feel threatened, contact the police. you’re right, you can’t handle this anymore. you’re not his mother, or his doctor, and you can’t be the one to take care of him. he needs to grow up and get some therapy.
Written by nicolie-olie♥ about 5 months ago.

He’s just saying that to get your attention and make you feel guilty to stay. any guy that is actually suicidal would have done it by now.
i really hope he doesn’t, but if he ever does, just remember that it wasn’t YOUR problem..
it is his problem that he didn’t deal with the right way and you have no control over the way he handles himself. so don’t ever blame it on yourself, because that’s exactly what he wants.

also, tell him… “if you love me enough to kill yourself, than you wouldn’t kill yourself because you’d be putting me through so much pain… and you could never, ever take that back. and no one who truly loves someone would put the person they love in that much pain, willingly.”
its kinda hard to say out loud, but maybe you’ll have a better way to word it.

in reality, i think he’s just trying to scare you into staying with him.

also, some things to think about….
if he truly loved you, than he wouldnt want to lying to your family just to see him. if he truly loved you then he’d understand, and wait for you to get your own place to make it easier on you.

you should bring that up to him too :)

good luck! i hope i helped. <3
its always good to get others people’s point of view, because when we’re emotional we don’t always think rationally.
Written by TONI about 5 months ago.

Please leave him alone. You already have your own set of problems and you do not need to take on his.
Written by guardrailjim about 5 months ago.

If he is sick enough to commit suicide, he is sick enough to kill you and himself at the same time so you will both be together in the after life.
Tell your parents, tell the police, get a restraining order, never see him without others in your presence.
Written by onelove about 5 months ago.

do not do this because he love you so much if he do anything then you are the only one responsible person. if he really love you, he can do anything because you are his life if you go from him then he wl be like a dead body because i m suffering from this illness and now i cant do anything PLZ look at his life and don’t do anything because you are the only one to give him happiness.
Written by medzthemedik about 5 months ago.

i think you already know this, but if his immaturity leads him to suicide because he bases his life around one person or thing, it’s NOT your fault. it would be his choice. but you might tell the police or his parents that he needs rehab
Written by bunny about 5 months ago.

seriously its not his life u have your own life live it. he cant guilt u into doing sttuff, well he can but dont listen plug your ears. if things get really bad tell your parents that a guy you use to date is like doing this sht to you…um maybe go to a therapist. idk really what to do but dont stay with this crazyyyy person you deserve better who cares if he dies hes mental what can you do your not responsible for his life!! DUMP HIM OR YOULL REGRET IT***
Written by Brayden about 5 months ago.

Pretty…

Insane…

Get…

Help…
Written by JesusWasAShaman about 5 months ago.

I guess what people fail to see is that you’re not breaking up with this guy because you don’t like him, but because of personal reasons. I believe that you should try to tell him to level with you and since he has been someone who as attempted suicide in the past, then the risks are higher. I believe you should try him to get him into therapy as a whole “If you love, you;ll do it” kinda thing. No suicide threat should be taken as a joke and although it isn’t fair of the situation you are in, since you still care about him, it will hurt and haunt you more if he actually did do such an act. I think you should try to make him understand, get him help, and try to make him be able to move on from your breakup. Sorry to hear this, and honestly, a person’s suicide that isn’t your fault but could be prevented by you, can still make you feel terrible, maybe even for ever.

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